Knots and Creases

Kaya ko pa.

2008-08-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

Pagkagising sa umaga wala na akong ibang dahilan para bumangon kungdi ung mga hindi ko pa tapos basahin at sagutin at sikaping intidihin (meaning lahat.)
Ayokong umuuwi kasi pagkarating ko sa bahay kailangan nanaman mag aral.
Pagkahiga ko sa gabi naiiyak nalang ako dahil kahit buong araw akong nagsunog ng kilay parang bang wala parin akong natapos.
Kahit isipin kong kaya ko dapat ito, pag nagbasa na ako ng libro hindi ko maintindihan.
Pag kaharap ko ang exam, kahit ang pinakasimpleng tanong ay wala akong sagot.

Pero kaya ko ito.

Kinaya ito ni Kuya Ryan.
Kinaya ito ng lahat ng nauna sa akin.
Kaya ito ni Paul at ni Marian.

Kaya ko din ito. Kaya ko din ito. Kaya ko din ito.

Boooo

2008-07-08T01:20:00.003+08:00

I

Miss

I-miss-you

miss you.

I, Ms. I-miss-you, miss you.

Boo.

Miss I-miss-you misses you, boo.

Come back to me you.

May 20, 2007 at 07:18 AM

An old entry from one of my other blogs which I found adorable~ ^^

Domestic Fantasies

2008-05-31T22:13:00.004+08:00

I've always daydreamed of one day getting married and settling into a modest and preferably cheap house somewhere, good enough for starting out. Something like one-bedroom, one-bathroom flat similar to those of small families in Japan. We can have maybe a tv and a small refrigerator, a stove and a washing machine, and maybe also a desktop computer. A small Christmas tree during the holidays. Just the essentials.

Then we'd work our way up. First save up for a better tv, so that neither my husband nor I get cranky when the old, cheap one conks out after a long day. Then we get maybe a nice couch or a sturdier washing machine. Or maybe even a slow cooker so that whoever's turn it is (I'm going to insist that me and my husband take turns preparing dinner) won't have to stress about getting it ready before the other comes home. Of course, we'll certainly have to set some money aside for a car. Nothing fancy, something like a Hyundai Accent or a Kia Rio, maybe if we're lucky a Honda Civic. Just something that'll get us to work without the hassle of public transportation.

Then, hopefully, once we've been promoted enough (me as senior professor in UP lol and my husband as, well, whatever high position) or once we have enough money in the bank, we can start planning a baby. We're going to need a yaya for her (for now I'll assume in my fantasies that our firstborn is a girl). We might start getting a little crowded, but in the meantime the yaya can sleep in the couch. And then, after we've adjusted to the new arrangement, and when the child starts getting a little bit too old to sleep with mommy and daddy, we might find it necessary to move into a bigger house. Of course, we would have prepared for that from the start (which is why we first had to get promoted enough and had to have enough money in the bank).

So then we move to a bigger place, maybe a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house in a decent subdivision, still quite modest, but good enough for a growing family. Our daughter will have to start attending school by this time. And maybe we might have to invest in an educational plan for our baby so we wouldn't have to worry about paying for her high school education when the time comes. Must think in the long term.

And maybe, after settling in, we might think of adding another blessing to the family, anyway there's room enough in the house for two little children now. Hopefully it's a boy this time so that we can end there.

And in between all these there are Christmas visits to my parents and Holy Week visits to his, we never miss those.

--

In real life, of course, it probably won't happen that way. But I notice that I really do fancy that domestic fantasy I've outlined above. Sometimes, walking along the kitchen ware section of Abenson, I find myself searching for the sturdiest-looking cheap stove I can find and think to myself, that'd be okay for our little house. Or when I wander into the electronics section of Western, I start to think, that small tv is perfectly fine, as long as we still enjoy what we're watching.

Even in the Sims, whenever I create a new family, I tend to avoid the motherlode cheat and try to play them from the bottom up, using money they've earned to get better furniture, to renovate the house, get rich and make babies.

But I really do wonder though how my life will turn out. At the moment it's pretty scary. What if I make the wrong choices? What if I don't get to achieve my goals? What if I don't become good enough a professor or an economist to succeed? I might never get to that point where me and my family get to save up enough for a bigger house (knowing more or less that Filipinos have a bad record when it comes to savings--very low relative savings rate). Our earnings might only get eaten away by bills and taxes. I remember, now that I've realized it, that sometimes I get a figure in my head, like P15,000/mo. How much would the water and electricity bill cost for a small house...Will P5,000 be enough for all the bills? Will we be able to save at least P2,000 a month??

Ugh. I'm such a geek. But seriously, these things do bother me once in a while. And it's kind of frightening that I don't have any definite answers.

Trust

2008-05-19T00:12:00.003+08:00

Nobuta wo Produce

I realized that the trust they have for each other: that's something I wish I had. Full, unyielding trust.

Makes me also wish I had friends like Akira and Shuji. The best kind of friendship.

i <333 nobuta wo produce~

A note on Lord of the Flies

2008-05-04T18:16:00.004+08:00

As usual, watch out for spoilers.

When I finished this book and came out of my room, I must have had this sullen look on my face because when my mom saw me she said, "it's that depressing?" And it came to me that "depressing" is not the word to describe Lord of the Flies. It was troubling and disturbing, but not depressing. I suspect that what made it that way was the fact that they were all children. Twelve at the oldest.

Two thirds of the way through the book I no longer wanted to continue. I didn't want to know what was going to happen, because Golding rendered it in such a way that what was about to happen was so tangible that it seemed as though I already knew and was dreading it.

But despite all that, I liked it. Especially the fact that towards the end, I could almost taste the worst to unravel that any other ending would have been a surprise, and in fact it was. My point: the ending was unexpected, but made very much sense. And after all that knowing-what-was-going-to-happen-and-dreading-it, Golding still managed to surprise me with the way things played out.

Halfway through the book, I was wondering to myself why it was entitled Lord of the Flies. And after I encountered the actual lord of the flies in the story, I still wondered. It wasn't important an image enough to deserve to be the name of the entire book. But after a while it rolled into place. They were a swarm of flies. They wouldn't listen. They weren't being rational. They were frustrating. They deteriorated slowly into savages, violent, uncivilized and crazy. Children, innocent and young that they are, are not exempt from the darkness that taints man. I think that was the message.

I can't help but wonder what clamor this must have caused back when it was first published. (Hy dad's copy was published 1973).

I think I'm glad to be running back to the subtle Tracy Chevalier after such an in-your-face book such as this one. ^^

Girl With a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier

2008-04-29T18:54:00.004+08:00

I'd like to begin with an apology. I have a feeling I will review this book with less enthusiasm than it deserves not because I hated it (one of the best books I've read this year!) but because at the moment, the words don't come to me as fluidly as in any other time. Maybe I'm just tired.

Spoilers ahead.

First of all, I was fascinated by the fact that many of the characters in this book were in fact real people. The painter himself and van Leeuwehoek (he had something to do with the creation of the microscope) to mention a few. It's also nice that I enjoyed all but three characters: the obvious seven-year-old antagonist, her mother and the family's biggest patron.

I think though that the persona I liked best was Pieter the son. I don't really know why. Maybe because he fancied Griet so, or because he was patient with her when she became tongue-tied or sharp, or because in the end he trusted her very much.

The painter kind of reminds me of my dad. :( But I liked him too, because I generally like characters that don't talk much and keep to themselves. It's as though there's a natural feeling of respect towards people like that. And I like the way Chevalier rendered his liking towards Griet: never explicitly mentioned, but you can tell by the way he is towards others, and how others speak of him, that somehow his feelings towards her and her towards him, although maybe not of the same intensity, are mutual.

The thing with Griet and keeping her hair hidden was a very beautiful touch to the story. Although kind of Islamic in symbolism (and to think there was a stark religious disparity and a look at it from another angle that was new to me), I liked the way she perceived herself with her hair down as some other, less honorable Griet. And how the intensity of intimacy in the fact that the painter saw her with her hair down is to her equivalent to that of surrendering herself to her suitor. It's a sad contrast between the way she sees the two men in that part of her life.

The religious point of view used in the story got me disoriented. I was raised in a community of Catholics, and to read into a book where the Catholics are the minority, where they are merely "tolerated," was alien to me. But it was a welcome perspective. In fact, I liked it. It made the book even more real, and kept me constantly aware of the setting and the historical place of the story.

Finally, I liked the ending. I am happy that Griet married Pieter the son, although the author made sure to leave me questioning in the end if she really loves him. Maybe that is what makes the ending bittersweet. I was relieved about their marriage but something kept tugging at my gut still, even after I'd closed the book. Pieter would joke to Griet that the money the Vermeers owed them was his payment for getting her. But it said that she never laughed at that joke. And the last line: the maid came free, means that she took the joke seriously, as though she didn't want to be priced.

Anyway, whatever. As a whole, I was amazed by how Chevalier was able to transform from a painting into such a wonderfully crafted, multidimensional story that brings together real and fictional people, a story that you would really believe and experience. I gladly recommend reading it.

I'm not sure how I can take having Colin Firth as the painter in the movie. I always remembered him in Bridget Jones' Diary. =( And I have a bad feeling that most of the things I really liked in the book will be neglected in the movie.

Nonetheless, I would like to see it and confirm my fears. XD

Thanks Gen for recommending this wonderful book!

all in the family

2008-04-27T23:19:00.002+08:00

I'm pretty darned lucky I think. :) I get a periodic fix of ideas and opinions and exposure to the workings of the minds of true scientists all in the comfort of my own home. Every now and then, (on a Sunday, usually) when my two physicist uncle-and-aunt tandem come to town for business (in the natural sciences sense of the term) I sit at our dinner table or, if you will, our very own round table of great thinkers, my idols, my family. Two physicists, a chemist, an economist, a physician (all of which are doctors by the way,) and me. And no it's not always science we talk about. And it's not the science that always leaves this flame ablaze in me even days after such a Sunday family dinner.

It's the ideas. Sharing the insights on the American, Japanese, German techniques in education. Why Japan's Nobel laureates can be counted with one hand, while for Germany and the US the number is ahead by leaps and bounds. One must strike a balance between discipline and creativity. We Filipinos have the creativity, but we are drained by our lack of discipline. The Japanese have all the training, skill and discipline, but they are taught not to take risks, their creativity is constrained. How all the fields of knowledge are now becoming so much more interconnected, looping back to the Enlightenment when philosophers discussed mathematics, mathematicians fathered economics, and scientists and philosophers were one and the same.

It's the histories that are breached. Kepler and quest for God in the ellipsis during the 30 years war. Einstein and his theories in the middle of the first world war and how a hundred scientists (Nobel Prize winning, some of them) signed against his discoveries. Jewish science, they said, is junk science. We never read these things in our Physics textbooks. But my family, being the scientists that they are, they are immersed in the history of their discipline (plus, in a splendid stroke of luck, they have a knack for story telling). And it fascinates me beyond words how these names: Tyco Brahe, Johannes Kepler, Andrew Wiles, Max Planck, their personalities come to life when they are spoken of in my humble round table. The poetic Kepler who wrote for his own epitaph: "I measured the heavens, now the shadows I measure. Sky bound is the mind, earth bound the body rests." Brahe with his selfish nature, obedient data collection and golden nose. Every time, names I perceived as flat personalities in the bowels of history, and which I associate only with a theorem or a concept or a hypothesis, they become real people with their very own characteristics, personalities, their flaws, and their achievements. Every single time in that small round table.

It's the passion for their work that I see in the way they tell their tales. My aunt and uncle are first and foremost Physicists. But they too are educators, and the spirit of knowledge in them burns into me when I listen to them. In my eyes it's hard work and lots of fun for them all in one caboodle. They love what they're doing because in little increments they see the hard-earned fruits of their labor (in their students, in their school, in their research, etc.), and at the same time they're doing so much (if at the moment unperceived) for such an unappreciative and myopic country. Tell me, how many people can say they have attained these two things in their life? I may never even get to do any one of those in my lifetime. And much like Odysseus in the movie Troy, I feel pretty damn blessed just to have eaten from the same Yellow Cab pizza as a few of those who have.

Today was my graduation day, but the highlight of my day wasn't getting that medal, it was talking to them: Uncle Chris, Auntie Marivic, my mom and dad, and Auntie Cora. I want so much to be like them. It doesn't matter that I won't earn as much as so many many others in my graduating class. It doesn't matter if I won't get to work in an multinational company like my college mates. I want to be a scientist. I want to publish papers. I want to stay in my country and teach. I want to be like them.

I wonder what I did to deserve having the people I most look up to an arms length away. Having them talk with me around the dinner table about things they are paid to do at conferences and conventions. My family so rich with valuable ideas flowing so freely over our desert that I feel almost guilty that I don't have a notebook to store them all in. Guilty too that I am benefiting too much from an externality without being able to afford it.

If I could be as great as they are, if I could take it all in and get to at least half of the heights they've achieved, then maybe I could become somebody enough to deserve the right and privilege to pass this passion on to my children, planting in them the same desire that is being imprinted into my character.

Bacolod Trip Runthrough

2008-04-22T00:18:00.002+08:00

Briefly: (and yes, I promise to post a more thorough entry when I feel industrious. XD)

April 14-21, 2008

starring:

Sig (Gourney),
Vigile (Virgie), aka. "Fmd I"
Gen (Genin), aka. "Frnd II" and
Stacy (Tessie) aka. "Frnd III"

[ supporting role: Vince d'Prince and Nognog Siyabyab =P ]

XD XD

Day 1: Korean couple-stalking at NAIA. XD Arrival. Tired. Chicken Inasal and White Choco Cheese Cake yum yum~
Day 2: The Quiet Place. Exploring. Eating. Monopoly~
Day 3: Fishing! Shopping for a pink shirt for Arik aka. Yabyab XD
Day 4: Overnight at Patag Mountain. Cold. Waterfalls!!! Bonded with the brothers.
Day 5: Coming home from Patag. Freezing and tired. Slept. Mang Pepe's yum yum~
Day 6: Stayed at home. Monopoly. Swimming. Sig's cute faces. XD
Day 7: Guintubdan Falls (paradise!)
Day 8: Shopping for pasalubong. Departure. =(

Photos~

Number Name Game

2008-04-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

Shux..I so love these things.

Name 10 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 10 people. (I've read them na from Yuri's blog. XD but I don't remember, I promise *bats eyelashes*) This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first.. No cheating!

1. Jan Arik
2. Selda
3. Gen
4. Stacy
5. Celeni
6. Pauline
7. Mercy
8. Jayjay
9. Lester
10. JE

DON'T LOOK AHEAD UNLESS YOU FILLED UP THE TOP!

1.How did you meet number 9?
he was courting my friend

2. Do you have a crush on anyone up there?
yes haha

3. What would you do if you hadn't met number 1?
nothing in particular

4. What would you do if 6 and 2 were going out?
I'm pretty sure neither of them are lesbians. but still...ew.

5. How did you meet number 8?
he's my housemate~

6. Is 2 one of your best friends?
we could arrange that

7. Whose number 9's best friend(s)?
kimmy? XD

8. Have you ever dated number 1?
no. sig will slaughter me

9. Do you miss number 10?
very very much

10.what do u think of number 6?
adorable!

11.what do you think of number 7?
the sweetest person i've ever met

12. who does number 3 like?
that I would like to know~

13. Have you ever been inside number 8's house?
please refer to question number five

14. Do you love number 4?
of course

15. Ever been in the same bed as any of the numbers?
yup

16. What about no. 5?
nope

17. Do you trust these people?
most of them

18. would you date no. 5?
ck! want to go out on a date with me? XD

20. Love them all?
couldn't say I LOVE them all. but they're all all right.

21 naman daw

1. Tristan
2. Kimmy
3. Matet
4. Ryan
5. Kris
6. Ron Joseph
7. Mark Pepito Rabe
8. James
9. Cheche
10. JE
11. Kuya Les
12. Teena
13. Jack
14. Rex
15. Siggy
16. Jozen
17. Dani
18. Maki
19. Em
20. Vince
21. Gen

Where did you first meet 17?
the AS staircase XD

Do you know any of 8's secrets?
no :(

Did 3 ever hurt you?
indirectly yes, but she doesn't know it

Do u think 5 is good looking?
yes, when she smiles

What would be ur reaction if 9 fought with 20?
i'd look forward to that. XD

What would be your reaction if 11 went out with 2?
11 is married and 2 is taken

Would you ever date 13?
over my dead body. (no offense~)

What would be your reaction if 14 made out with 15?
drop dead

Name at least one fact about 4,9,14 and 19.

4: his ears stick out
9: text addict.
14: taga san agustin, romblon
19: she calls me boss or mommy. *hug*

Did 7 ever lend u money?
no. he always asks for a libre.

Describe 21 in one word.
stingy

Do you think that 12 is funny?
um..she's my mom. go figure.

Would you ever kiss 11?
maybe a family kiss when I become his sis-in-law~

Do you think that 20 is goofy looking?
most of us agree that his posture looks like a chicken. imagine that.

Ever had a pillow fight with 1?
i've never met him in person

Ever slept over in 15's house?
the day before yesterday we crashed a her place at 12 midnight. XD

How old is 6?
he's young! about my age~ XD

Have you ever seen 9 and 8 make out?
well, 9 does need to find a better man. ^^

Name one funny event you had with 18.
i'll get back to you on that one. Maki, may naaalala ka ba?

What's the funniest thing about 13?
she's a boy in a girl's body

What if 16 was your twin sibling?
then we're definitely fraternal. hey sis! XD

Did you ever hug 7?
I probably would if he'd allowed me. ^^ he's not the huggable type.

Did 2 ever make you really furious?
nope never. *hug*

Whats the craziest thing 11 ever did that you know of?
he got his girlfriend (now wife) pregnant. :)

Have u ever seen 10 naked?
what an odd question.

tapos 30... this is so funnn.

1. Tristan
2. Kimmy
3. Matet
4. Ryan
5. Kris
6. Ron Joseph
7. Mark Pepito Rabe
8. James
9. Cheche
10. JE
11. Kuya Les
12. Teena
13. Jack
14. Rex
15. Siggy
16. Jozen
17. Dani
18. Maki
19. Em
20. Vince
21. Gen
22. Meg
23. Stacy
24. JD Buhangin
25. Enzo
26. Rico
27. Gil
28. Levs
29. Von
30. Rachel

QUESTIONS:

How did you meet 10?
chemistry class, freshman year

What would you do if you had never met 6?
i'd wait till I meet her. hey sis! XD

What would you do if 20 and 15 dated?
INCEST!!!

If you could marry between 6 and 14 who will it be?
i'm taken. XD (besides, if 6, 9 would kill me. if 14, it just won't work out.)

Did you ever like 9?
textmate~

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
no

Would 4 and 17 make a good couple?
i'm not into homosexual relationships.

Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple?
don't think so.

Describe 8.
um. admu alumnus. tall? lives in filinvest..

Do you like 12?
she's my mom..i guess..hmm..

Tell me something about 17.
he comes from looc, romblon.

What's 7's favorite color?
i think i'm supposed to know that, being that i'm his friend and all..

What would you do if 1 just confessed he/she liked you?
uhm..i don't know. avoid him for selda's sake.

When was the last time you talked to number 15?
kanina sa text.

How do you think 19 feels about you?
i'm her mommy~ XD

What language does 13 speak?
bisaya, tagalog, english

Who is 2 going out with?
number 9 in the very first set of names

What grade is 16 in?
hmmm...4th year?

What is 5's favorite music?
*checks in her friendster* "solemn" daw

Would you ever date 13?
never

Is 11 single?
married

What is 10's last name?
my future last name~ XD

Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 7?
WHYYY??

Where does 18 live?
*checks her multiply* QC and Nueva Ecija

What do you think about 20?
chicken-chested

What is the best thing about 30?
everything..can't name just one.

What would you like to tell 14 right now?
go feasib!

How did you meet 9?
she was my boyfriend's friend.

What is the best and worst thing about 2?
she's the most down to earth person you'll ever meet and we barely see each other any longer.

Are you going to know 3 forever?
um..i don't know if I want to. :(

How long have you known 26?
since I was in 2nd year high school.

Who is 24?
someone who should once and for all step out of 23's life.

Do you have a crush on 27?
no.

Would you kiss 25?
no. I'd give the honor to stacy.

Have you hugged/kissed 22?
hug.

Would you like to hug/kiss 21?
i've hugged her so many times. i've kissed her a few times on the cheek

Is 29 your GFF?
he's my txtm8

What do you hate about 23?
anything I would've hated about her i've learned to accept after 10 years of being friends.

What's your relationship with 28?
orgmates. :D

two books and a movie

2008-04-13T10:54:00.002+08:00

Spoilers ahead.

As Gen wished, I read The Last Unicorn and oddly, I didn't find it as sad as I had expected. (Where have I said that before? XP) On the contrary, I think it was quite a happy ending. The unicorns were freed, the curse was lifted, the land became fertile again, Haggard no longer existed, Schmendrick got what he's always wanted.

I didn't find it too tragic that the Prince Lir didn't end up with Lady Amalthea, since something the unicorn said early in the book stuck to me. How it was horrible that Nikos did not turn the unicorn he made human back to its original form, as though she never wanted that to happen to her. So it only seemed right (not without a little regret) that she return to her original form and it would be absurd that Prince Lir end up with a unicorn, so I suppose how it ended was just as it should have ended. Not to mention the fact that the love between the prince and the lady seemed only too sudden for me, although I really did feel that they truly truly loved each other.

I think I would have been so much more devastated if she stayed mortal to be with her prince because then she'd eventually die. It was terrible how the Lady's eyes were losing its forest and green leaves and turning into human eyes. It was such a shame to think of the last unicorn becoming human only to waste away in her mortal form. I know...She'll be happy with her prince anyway. But still, I don't know. After all the other unicorns were freed, it should've been all right to have left this one with Prince Lir to lead a happy life, since she was no longer the last anyway, and she did say that she is no longer the unicorn that she used to be because she feels all the human emotions, like regret. But I think as a final act of respect to the unicorn that she was, I guess turning her back into a unicorn was the best thing to do. Because that was what she wanted in the beginning. It's wonderful how you see even their perspectives change as they grow as characters. I think I like this book.

I guess one thing I really liked about this book was that any ending would have been sad, or melancholy or regretful. So somehow it's settling just to accept what ending the author chose for his characters because every other alternative would've left the reader with the same state of emotions anyway...or worse.

But why did she not speak to the prince after everything was over? It would've made him, and us readers, the tiniest bit happier. But I guess she didn't want to feel any more regret than there already was in her immortal heart. She'll have to live with that for eternity. :(

I watched my pirated copy of The English Patient this morning. There were two things I really looked forward to in that film, and both of them didn't appear. :( I was waiting for that scene when Katherine teases Almasy with a "ravish me" right before they got into their fantastic affair. And I was very excited to see how they rendered Kip's sort-of-getaway because of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bomb. That, to me, was the best part of the book, seasoned with a little personal triumph because it wasn't emphasized in class and I came to appreciate in by myself on my second reading of the book. XD

BUT IT WASN'T IN THE MOVIE.

He was just reposted to Florence and had to leave. Bah.

But the movie wasn't that bad. Kip didn't sleep in a tent as the book explicitly described. Caravaggio wasn't Hana's uncle as he was in Ondaatje's masterpiece. And I expected Kip to be a little more handsome. Hehehe. But nevertheless, it was worth it's Oscar. The English patient was well portrayed, and Katherine was very charming. It tried, I suppose, to be loyal to the book. There's only so much a movie can do. I was disappointed that they chose to emphasize the patient's and Caravaggio's stories, at the expense of Hana's and Kip's, but it's efficient that way I guess, because their stories are more interconnected and related to the desert.

Anyway. It was a good watch.

I've got to cut this short because my folks are making me prepare for lunch.

Leaving for Bacolod tomorrow. :)

Whee~

mmda ramblings and other things

2008-04-07T21:01:00.005+08:00

One. Having had the opportunity to walk along a long stretch of the Commonwealth highway, it was odd that I didn't notice how the trees that were so abundant planted along the sidewalk around St. Peter and Ever (every few meters) started to dwindle in number as we got to the PM overpass and then to the Puregold area. I noticed this just recently when riding home with my dad. Too bad, I think the parts of town that lack trees are those most in need of more O2 and less CO2. And it would have certainly looked very pretty once the trees [that weren't planted] have grown majestic and beautiful (given that they plant the right kind of trees and not those palm trees they're so fond of.)

Two. I was reminded of a passing thought that crossed my mind one of those times I walked the sidewalks of Commonwealth Avenue. I thought of how disappointing it was that Filipino's couldn't differentiate trash cans from the chicken wire-like things that encircled the MMDA trees. From all my wandering around I found that most of the trees had that blue-and-pink wire around them (that in fact even have small plaques that say "Name of tree:_____; Date planted:_____; Scientific name:_____") and that at the foot of most of the blue-and-pink wire there was trash. Either people mistake these to be trash bins, (which is absolutely stupid because there's this TREE in the middle of their trash bin that's kind of hard to miss) or they're just extremely indifferent about the environment. I mentioned this to my father, and he said, well, it's better than them stealing the wire for "food on the table," which is a very good point (nothing to do with the environment, though). I guess Filipino's are less, uh, impoverished than I thought. @_@ That made me think: suppose the MMDA put the real thing (aka. a trash bin) beside every tree, would that mean people will actually start throwing their trash in the right place? Hopefully the trash bins would look more like trash bins than the chicken wires do.

Whatever.

~

Singit lang, books to read:

~~Beauty~~
~~The Painted Veil~~
Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man
The Blind Watchmaker*
Identity
Lord of the Flies*
[insert book title here]
[insert book title here]
.
.
.
[insert book title here]

_________________________
* From my dad's collection! XD Let's see how I'll find it.

any suggestion on what I can read next?

2008-04-06T14:08:00.005+08:00

I finished The Painted Veil this morning. I have mixed feelings about it. I didn't find it as sad as I had expected it to be. I don't know if I like Walter. I admire his almost inhuman self control, being able to remain polite to the person who broke his heart. But I'm almost sure there must be something wrong with a person like that. And there are hints, no, suggestions of his being ominously dangerous (for lack of a better word -- I'm sure if I were Gen I'd find a better word easily =P). Spoiler ahead. I was certainly disappointed when he died before that darkness in him could come out in full bloom. Although it's scary enough that he was doing all that good for so many people for the wrong reason...A very dark, but vague reason (or maybe I'm just in need of another Literature class to resharpen my eye for such things) I was even more disappointed at how Kitty didn't seem to learn much. I'd give her credit for growing a little from her Mei-tan-fu experience, but it wasn't enough. But then, somehow I can understand her weakness. It seems very human to make the same mistakes twice. (You see now why I'm not sure what I think of this book?) And I absolutely abhor Charles Townsend. I want to chop his head off.

Maybe the reason I don't know how I feel about The Painted Veil is because it did not stir as much emotion in me as, for example, The English Patient had, or as much wonder was American Gods and Stardust had, or as much food for thought as The Unbearable Lightness of Being had. It was certainly subtle about it's message, and maybe I'm not yet mature enough a reader to identify and appreciate what it was trying to say. I'm not sure I'll ever gain that maturity knowing how sporadic my reading habits are.

Right now I feel like I can gobble up any book I can get my hands on. Unfortunately the books I have aren't as interesting as the books my friends, aka. my book sources XD, have. And I'm not yet in that stage where my father's books interest me. I hardly ever read so I don't think I'll ever get to that stage.

I went to Makati yesterday. Stacy, Sig and I visited Selda in their condo to go swimming. XD It was absolutely cold. You wouldn't think it was in the middle of summer at all. Who was it that called the pool water refrigerator water? Which, whenever I thought about it made the water even colder? I think it was Stacy. The pool was on the 7th floor so the wind was everywhere. I didn't know there was a way to feel so chilly in the Philippines in the middle of April.

The place Selda was staying was very pretty. By "place Selda was staying" I mean the tower/building/area/whatever. We never got the chance to take a peak at their actual studio unit because her family was there and her family didn't like showing their place to us. Anyway it's easy to assume that their place is pretty because the building it was in was quite fancy. I'm not sure though about their choice of what Sig called "modern art." At the lobby they had as display a big tin mixing bowl, which to me felt a little out of place and underused (I think it would have made lots of tasty chocolate chip cookies), and a huge glass jar that looked like if it were useful in a sense other than to decorate a fancy, high class condominium, it would be carrying milk in some dairy factory. Maybe the owner of the building was being parsimonious (a new word I learned from The Painted Veil!) about furnishing the lobby.

Anyway, have I mentioned that I also finished this book, Beauty? I think I have. Well anyway, I feel for Beauty. Oddly these past few days I've been feeling very very ugly. Not because of anyone or anything. I hope you don't think it's because of my boyfriend, no. If anything I feel so undeserving of his affection. Even more so now that I don't find myself at all attractive. He even tries to make me feel beautiful, at which, although I appreciate very much and commend him for his ceaseless effort, he is unsuccessful. So I feel like I am Beauty, who cannot at all see anything attractive in herself. The difference is she grew attractive towards the end of the book and certainly realized it. Really something you should expect of a fairy tale. But then I feel left behind.

It's very disappointing how I fuss about such a petty thing as my looks. I am a shallow person, I've realized that since long ago. And I don't think this worry I have for my physical appearance will ever go away. It doesn't feel like it will go away. Maybe the only thing that will make it go away is an enchanted floor-to-ceiling mirror in the Beast's castle. Which, or course, doesn't exist.

Anyway. I still have the courage to wear an old fashioned swim suit in a public place. I guess it's not that bad.

It's funny how many times I edited this post just to change the title. Very random thought.

a blog entry

2008-04-04T21:35:00.003+08:00

I've fallen out of the habbit of blogging, you've probably noticed. I've been busy. With school and friends and boyfriend and all. But I reached (some of) my goals. At least the ones I've worked for. And I'm glad I've made some people happy with it.

I've decided that I want a tennis knapsack for a graduation gift. The type where you can put your racket in with it's grip sticking out. Right now I'm using a makeshift tennis knapsack with my Wimby bag and it is doing below average. Since it's zipper was meant to be completely closed, stuffing a racket in doesn't entirely close the bag, and the zippers slide open while I walk. Anyway, despite its being a Wimbledon bag it wasn't made for that purpose.

What else? I was craving for curry rice today, thanks to an Osaka newspaper that I got from the Linguistics department while waiting for my friend's Intsik 10 and 11 grade (don't ask). But when I got to Bento Box, Katipunan this evening I wasn't greeted with a "Curry Katsudon" on the menu. Apparently, they phased it out. Blah. In the end I ordered a Katsudon and left the establishment full but still craving for curry. And Indian curry won't do because that's a whole different dish altogether.

And I finished reading McKinley's Beauty, a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. I finished it in Bento Box. The whole time I had this feeling I've read already. But I really don't remember reading that book until recently. Maybe the scenes were familiar because it's a story about a well known fairy tale?

Tennis UP was going to go to Enchanted Kingdom yesterday. JE and I were supposed to tag along. But we weren't able to (he had to deal with some thesis binding issues, and I kept him ~~sane~~ company), so I was pleased to hear this afternoon that EK didn't push through. We still have another shot at tagging along! XD

And my mother rented out our Pajero. So I don't have a car these past few days. But she said that the revenue from having it rented out will go to me (haha) so I really shouldn't mind. And I don't. I'm thinking I can use the money for EK so JE and I wouldn't have to spend anything.

Ugh. When I got home I went straight to the computer to blog. For no reason at all. Without changing or freshening up. So I'm right now sticky and smelly in this very very warm evening. I think I will go take a bath now.

By the way, my father started calling me Big M just the other day. Very odd.

And yes, I did get that blasted 2.25 in Math.

The difference between 2.5 and 2.25

2008-03-17T12:47:00.000+08:00

When I got a 2.5 in Math 110.2, I was ecstatic. I was, in fact, delighted enough to text my father the good news that I was given a grade two tiers higher than expected. During the Phi Kappa Phi induction, he whispered to my ear that despite being inducted to these kinds of circles, he knew that the grade that made me the happiest was that 2.5, and he was quite right. But now I stand face to face with the possibility of getting the worst grade I can get my entire undergraduate life: a 2.25. Certainly there is nothing wrong with a 2.25. Many even, I believe, would find salvation in a 2.25. So you might think there’s really no reason for me to be selfish. But trust me it’s all relative. (In particular, it’s the deviation of the actual grade from its expected value that spells the difference.)

Very few things can get close to being as devastating as getting a grade lower than what I could have gotten. And by what I could’ve gotten I don’t mean in some far off fantasy or some distant dream. By what I could’ve gotten I mean what I really would’ve gotten if I’d have done what I always used to do to get a 2.5 in M110.3 and a 2.25 in Math 162: I did my best.

But before I give away anymore of my grades, allow me an attempt to mathematize my point.

Let
A = grade in Math 110.3;
B = grade in Math 110.2 = 2.5 (given above)

Claim:
The true worth of any grade, denoted by the function T(X), is the difference between its actual and expected values.
Where the expected value is a function of performance throughout the semester (P) and effort (F), which is constant at F* considering the assumption given above: I did my best.

That is, T(X) = E(X) – X,
where X = actual grade;
and E(X) = f (F*, P)

Notice that productive capacity (PC), aka. ability or intelligence, is not included in the model. This is because F measures the extent to which PC has been utilized.

Hence, in this model, F* = PC and I have maximized my productive capacity.

Now, if E(B) = 3.0, then T(B) = 3.0 – 2.5 = 0.5
While if E(A) = 1.75, then T(A) = 1.75 – 2.25 = -0.5

As we can see, T(A) and T(B) are additive inverses of each other. So although in absolute terms, a 2.25 is better than a 2.5, its worth to the student is diminished by the grade’s expected value.

The point is, I could have gotten a 1.75 had I studied a few days earlier than I did before the exams, and a little more studiously, and had I gotten a good nights sleep the nights before. In other words, a little extra effort could’ve gotten me a long way.

Relativity is rather fantastic, isn’t it?

Anyway, it’s no one else’s fault but mine and I plead guilty. At least I did. It’s just sad that people undervalue those increments in effort that make a big difference.

It reminds me of the time I was watching my idol, Dr. Paras compute my M110.1 grade. I was a thousandth of a decimal short of ~~the next tier (all right, I’ll say it..)~~ 1.75. I didn’t know that time if I could ask her to just round it off. In the end, I didn’t. But contemplating on it now, I realize that there was no harm in trying. My standing had already been 2.0 before I took the finals (I was technically exempted), but still I took it and raised my average a little, only it wasn’t enough. :( She could’ve at least given me the 0.003 for effort. Asking for it wouldn’t have cost me anything, and getting it would’ve been an additional 0.25 x 3 units to my general weighted average. Maybe I wouldn’t even have to be scampering for that critical Latin honor cut-off if I had swallowed my pride that one time and asked for a round up.

Well, point justified. Pretty much.

To those of you guys out there who still have a chance (i.e., those little boys in my org who deceivingly turn out to be DOST scholars and Magna cum Laude candidates), grab it! Don’t just wave at them as they pass you by. Don’t make my mistake. :)

AN APPEAL TO THOSE IN UP WHO CARE

2008-03-08T21:45:00.001+08:00

The person who owns the link I will give you is the a Summa Cum Laude candidate in my batch. She and her friends have been accused of cheating and a case is underway.

It doesn't matter to me which side you take. All I want is for everyone to be aware of this issue so that. I want students to know that these things happen in our university and I hope that when something like this happens to your immediate sphere of experience, you will stand in the side of what is right, and of justice.

Please read this completely.

Remember TUAZ? XD

2008-02-26T22:56:00.002+08:00

Blue Ashes
Guest
Posts: 24
(5/29/04 3:28 pm)
Reply

hmmm...
wow! Gen [the avy freak] is here! hehe...okay..

hello everyone! i'm in bacolod right now but since Sig is playing RO and all the other people are playing games and all and i kind of got turned off coz sig's brothers cheat, then I'd just post here. gyahaha. oh well.

im really REALLY bored.

I honestly cannot believe that this forum is still alive!!!

Infalna

-=High Council=-

Posts: 5078
(7/14/03 9:19 pm)

Re: The board is getting deserted...=(
Sorry guys, my fault too since I myself havent been on much. I will resurrect this after aug. Please bear with me... (cant net much until entrance exams for college are over)

Thanks all for still posting in this board.. I'm really greatful..*bows*

All of a sudden I remember chibi and chop sticx and syun and Eternal Wing Zero and Lancernight (aka. LK) and Lecimme and kenshin 007 and Infalna and of course, who can forget Ur Quan Korh Ah~ XD (I'm not sure if I spelled the name right XD)

AMAGAD!

*falls off chair!*

the product of procrastination

2008-02-25T20:37:00.002+08:00

So, for the first time in quite some time, I have a few loose days in school. :) Nothing much I've been doing, usually just staring at the tube, gobbling up anything edible that crosses my path...These past few days, the only thing I've done that's productive is check on my mail, hoping there'd be an email from our adviser with some feedback regarding our lousy first draft.

I think it's more of the outlook than any actual reduction in academic load that has made my past few days "loose." I guess, after our first, very draining thesis draft, everything else is pretty much manageable.

I've been surfing for schools lately. Over the Christmas break, my uncle gave me this list of top 200 universities in the world (sidenote: not a trace of UP). Naturally, I got curious and looked some of them up. I learned that even if I started applying right away, and if (big if) some of them accepted me, the earliest I can start with classes would be on September of 2009. Seems like a long long time from now. @_@

I think I'm going to have to go full throttle with my applying from now until then. I figured I'll use the shotgun strategy. I suppose, of the many schools from that list I'll be trying out for, at least some of them should find something in me, shouldn't they? And since UP didn't get to the top 200 in the world, I can be sure that the opportunity cost of choosing any of the schools on the list over UP is not as high. And in such a case as when I don't get accepted to any of the schools I applied for, (*cries*) there's always UP. XD

Oooh, go see Gen's blog. She has an adorable new layout~ <333

A Statement

2008-02-17T23:33:00.002+08:00

Back in high school, when I was filling out my college application forms, Economics to me had the same ring to it as did Psychology, or Philosophy, or Biology. The only thing that had set it apart was that it did not end with an inevitable “-ogy”. But four years of being an undergraduate in the solace of the School of Economics has given me a more meaningful impression of this dismal science. And this impression of Economics has certainly made an impression on me.
In the course of completing my Bachelor of Science degree, I slowly came to appreciate Economics for its subtle beauty. I’ve come to admire the way it all comes together from the most fundamental principles; the way theory is in cadence with mathematics in a waltz that still makes sense; and the way the logic discussed inside the classroom can actually be witnessed unfolding in real life, and again and again in the course of history. In this field I have found a discipline I can both enjoy and further discover, which is why I have decided to pursue further studies in Economics.

(In short, please accept me for grad school, pretty please?)

Births and Birthdays

2008-01-20T16:24:00.000+08:00

Yay! Happy birthday to Er, Jojo, Tennis UP, JE and Vigile! :D We're 19, 20, 2 and 1 year old respectively! :D

Unfortunately, I was unable to attend Tennis UP's Anniversary dinner last Friday despite the fact that I was in Trinoma most of the day. >_< I was already at home (it had been 8:30 in the evening) when they sent me an SMS telling me where they were celebrating. Grawr. Four hours and a basketball game too late. But it's okay even though I've missed all of Tennis UP's parties so far this semester. But it's okay because there's sure to be one more, the Acquaintance party, which the themselves will plan for us. Wheee~ I'm pretty sure I don't want to miss that!

Today is Erbok's birthday! Happy birthday self-proclaimed tennis hottie. (-_____-;) Not that he'll be able to read this, although there is a teeny weeny chance. XD I hope you get well!

So anyway, I had dinner with Stacy and Gen last Thursday at Shakey's. Mia and John were supposed to join us but we informed them too late and it was too short notice. Nevertheless, it was a good dinner, and we will be having another dinner next Friday! This time it will be with the three of them (Mia, John and Baby Valene -- hopefully she will still be inside Mia then XD) Next Friday is smack dab in the middle of Mia's red-alert/possibility-of-labor interval, so hope she doesn't get too many contractions or anything. >__< Anyway, I can't wait. I've missed Mia~ I would want to know how they've been doing. ^_^ Maybe we should invite Criselda and Kimmy too eh? Oh but Selda's too far away. T__T

Which reminds me, Selda sent me an SMS about a month ago about the kada having a swimming party at their place when all of us are free. I was thinking, maybe we could have the post-Christmas, aka. Spring gathering there! What do you guys think?? XD I think: AWESOME! Yay!~ Maybe in the summer when we're all through with class?

OMG. I can't believe I'm graduating.

Post New Year Post

2008-01-13T16:49:00.000+08:00

It's back to school for everyone. I'm one of the luckier among the lot, since I didn't start the new year with exams. I was, though, welcomed with the announcement that all my Fridays will have one until we finish the two Econ books our professor wants us to read. Delightful. Nevertheless, a weekly exam has an advantage over several exams in a week. At least there's breathing room and study time. :)

Anyway, for my first round of Friday exams, I naturally had to cram a number of chapters into my head. (Very difficult after the holidays.) And I figured the place I'll probably be most productive in is the SE library. So I head there, and the funny thing was, it was empty. For a fraction of a second I had second thoughts on whether it was a school day or not. Lol. Holiday hangover I call it. It was good to know I wasn't the only one. Haha.

I've been thinking about giving up my Math class for some time now. It has come to eat up much of the precious time I could have used for the subjects that will have an impact on my GWA. My reason for taking it in the first place has nothing to do with my GWA. I only wanted to finish the series, a closure of sorts. But then now that I really think about it, it does nothing to help me towards my ultimate goal. Whatever grade I get in it will not be included my general weighted average because it is no longer part of my curriculum, but I certainly still want to get a decent grade, and for that to happen requires me to give up a lot of time. I think that with that Math out of my schedule, I can devote more of my efforts to doing my thesis and reading those two Econ books...And maybe even get good grades for the subjects that'll determine my final average.

On a lighter note, my New Year was quite pleasant. I was greeted by two fireworks displays, one outside our balcony, and the other, during the UP Centennial kick-off last week. To begin, J.E. celebrated the new year with us. So for new year, there was me, him, my folks and the dogs. We had sparlkes, a roman candle, some wine and rhum cake and the ube jam that J.E. brought back for us. Fun eh? Then a week later was the UP Centennial. UP certainly made sure it was special. There were sky divers and, as Tanya would call it, a Laglag Panty Fireworks Display, all on the same day! :D Plus, there were food stalls and lights on every tree around the oval! It was almost better than Christmas at UP!

What was missing before the new year, though, was the kada. Unlike the past years, we didn't have our annual christmas gathering this year. For the first time, none of our schedules were cooperative. Just when it was necessary to celebrate christmas because that might be the last christmas gathering we can all have together, it doesn't happen. :( And we had so many plans for it too, it was going to be a cosplay thing, with everyone wearing a costume just for the heck of it. (I was going to be Yuffie XD) And it was also going to serve as an advanced despedida for Stacy who might leave the country for good sometime this year. And that was also the occasion we were supposed to meet Tristan. But none of it materialized.

Of course, that doesn't mean it'll never happen. If it has to be a christmas gathering on valentines, then it will be. :) Stacy and I talked earlier this afternoon, and we were even thinking of inviting Mia. Both of us miss Mia and John, and it would be nice to at least once have them around for a kada gathering. Maybe even bring Ally and have her wear a costume too if it comes to that! :D

So anyway, a new post in the new year requires a few new year's resolutions.

1) Get a latin honor.
2) Apply to at least 15 schools for post graduate studies.
3) Read at least 10 books.
4) Meet his whole family.
5) Go to Romblon. XD
6) Make a good thesis.
7) Make new friends.

To end my entry, to the left is a very beautiful flower (unfortunately, I don't know what it's called) that my mother bought for the party we had last Friday. It used to have five buds, three of which are now full grown flowers. Very pretty and very fragrant. I hope it lasts!

kurisumasu

2007-12-29T16:25:00.000+08:00

So on my last day in Bohol, I had it all planned out. I was going to spend the afternoon in an internet shop uploading the stuff I worked on, downloading the stuff my staff worked on and researching for my thesis. But here I am. I left the stuff I worked on in the laptop (forgot to save them in the USB O__o), and my staff have not yet uploaded the stuff they're only about to start working on, and I'm too lazy to research. I haven't done any of the academic things I promised myself I would accomplish over the break. But that's pretty much enough ranting.

Merry Christmas. :)

I spent my Christmas at home. Went to hear mass in the morning, slept before lunch, and we all opened gifts by 3pm. I got a number of gifts, they're fine. Nothing I really really wanted, I didn't really want anything anyway. I like the bags I got though. I notice I have a thing for bags. Just a small thing.

Anya is six. She can already read! I've retired as the "elf" during Christmas day (a role I've been playing until I was 20..) because finally the smallest in our family can read. She's taken over as the person who reads the cards on every gift and gives it to the corresponding person. She doesn't like the job, she gets bored, but she'll get used to it. She some little girl. A little bossy, and a little spoiled. It worries me. I hope she grows out of it.

It's times like these when I can't help but ask where I will stand in life when the next Christmas comes. What pages will flip, whose backs will turn, which chapters will end. I worry. There are things I am unsure of in the coming year, I'm not sure if I am strong enough to handle what will come. I just resign myself to the fact that if I get through the difficult things, and get to the pot of gold at the end, I must deserve it. I think I put it the wrong way. I probably deserve the things that I will get. Put yet another way, I must earn the things I want.

I'm particularly anxious for the New Year. Something new happening this year. I mean, this new year. I hope there are a lot of fireworks in Marikina so that we'll have a good time. Fireworks are always a treat.

There are only three things I want for the new year.

Happy New Year!

a little bit at a time

2007-12-18T01:21:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought it was beginning to come together, just when I had things planned out. When I thought things were starting to get better. You come and make me feel divided yet again. As though I was made up of irreconcilable pieces. You come and trace the crease left behind by the crack I'm trying to glue back together. You stir the spirit that was finally beginning to settle.

I wish that one day you will understand. That you will have confidence in my judgment. That you will in time accept the things I believe in and welcome the things I love. Or at least acknowledge it.

I feel betrayed when you deem void the things that bear weight in my life. You and them are not mutually exclusive. You and them cannot be mutually exclusive if you both have me. But your actions tear me apart. I will not last very long if I am broken.

Please hear me. I'm so sorry for not recognizing that all this you are doing because you are worried about me. I'm so sorry for having made choices that hurt you badly. But it seems your hurting has turned into anger. For reasons I myself have already forgiven. And your forceful segmentation of my life, this recurring pain that you cause me whenever you pretend he does not exist when he is right in front of you, and pretend to hear nothing when he speaks, and whenever you cannot even mention his name, it is worth it? Your making me choose to acknowledge at once only him or only you, but not both; your making me keep him from you, not a mention in my stories, in my words, in what I do, even if it makes me happy, so as not to offend you; your forcing me to compartmentalize my life by choosing only you or only him when I want to be with you both. The pain that I feel from all this, every single time...Is it worth it?

Tell me. Because if it is, then I will go ahead and take it without anymore complaints.

Blurred Into Stardust

2007-12-15T23:54:00.000+08:00

Love used to be two seats away from me back in high school, the guy with always nothing but a pencil and two spiraled notebooks that could be bought for five pesos in the market a pedicab away from our school; the guy who’d tutor us with Science as if it were strands of his unruly hair; the guy on a motorcycle across town with me holding onto his waist, waiting to go swimming with the barkada in the next barrio.

Love was playing thumb wars in the MRT while taking me home to Sta. Mesa during my first few years of college in Manila. By then, love wasn’t two seats away anymore but two long bus rides, and one big hack off my allowance. I remember thinking one late December afternoon on my way to his university, that love was this unnamed closeness that had lasted us four years. And that evening, I looked forward to a thousand more thumb-wars to win.

Streetlights spangled with parols in nearly every highway the bus drove through, and multi-colored Christmas lights hanging off of little karinderia placards made the words unreadable. His class ended at six, and half an hour later, we sat ourselves at the corner table of Terriyaki Boy, (which was really as much as we could afford for a Christmas celebration). Even inside the restaurant, the holidays were everywhere. A twinkling tree near the entrance, Jingle Bell Rock playing in a loop over the speakers, he even commented teasingly how Santa could possibly deliver my gift this Christmas if Rudolf was plastered on the glass that separated our table from the smoking area. I stuck my tongue out, “nandiyan naman si Prancer at Vixen eh.”

We walked leisurely around for almost an hour more after we had left Rudolf. A midnight sale was at hand, and the place was still bustling with life despite the time. People hurried along like ants through the crowd for last minute Christmas shopping, bags of bargained clothes and toys hanging from their hands. Yet none of the stalls seem to be drained in inventory by the shoppers. Elaborate light displays and parols hung like ornaments from the entrances, and life-sized Santas greeted them as they came.

“Merry Christmas Kat,” was all he said to my ear amidst the hustle and bustle around us. He was no romantic, but I was used to that.

“Merry Christmas din.” I smiled back at him, and was surprised for a split second to see the sparkle in his eyes to be one of a certain kind of sadness. But still, his smile was as charming as it ever was, the smile he’d only give to me, and that split second was soon forgotten. His arms had been around me the whole time, and he then leaned to kiss my forehead as we walked. He bought me a blue Santa hat in one of the last few stalls we passed, and I wore it the whole way home.

The tricycle ride from the highway to the alley near my boarding house didn’t take very long. The glimmering light decorations of houses along the street were usually left on until early the next morning, so the road was brighter than usual. But still, he insisted that he walk me to our doorstep, as he always did, and I assented gladly, as I always do. It was a quiet walk, and none of us said a word. They say love is most comfortable in silence, and that was how I felt as we strode along, his hand in mine. Love was walking in an alley with nothing to fear, not even the future; love was being able hold the hand of the person I was most secure with, and most loved by. I swung our hands pleasantly like a child on Christmas day. He remained silent.

“Tell me everything ha.” he then said when we were almost at the gate.

“Everything of what?”

“Of what you think.”

“Of what?”

“Of what I’m going to say…”

He faced me.

Right then, I remembered the unhappy gleam in his eyes a few hours back. There was no glimmer in his eyes this time, for there was barely any light to reflect them with, but I could see that beyond the darkness, the sadness was still there.

“I…you..”

It was a while before he spoke again, had he thought his lines out in his head beforehand, it must have been lost to him at that moment.

“Ano ‘yon Dani?”

He had looked down at our intertwined fingers, and his thumb started fiddling with mine, as if as an excuse to delay the moment.

“It’s not the same..” he whispered almost to himself, the quiver in his voice inaudible.

“What?”

The click of the Christmas lights hanging from the gate was like the ticking of a clock waiting for him to answer.

“It’s not the same.” He said again, his eyes still failing to meet mine.

“What do you mean its not the s--”

“I love you. But it’s not the same!” There was more guilt in his voice than sadness now. “I don’t love you that way anymore Kat.” He was back to whispering, and the very moment he uttered those words things around seemed to shut out, even him, and whatever he had said next was lost to my memory. Whether there were words of apology or comfort or an explanation, I cannot be sure, but somewhere in the deep corners of my memories of those few seconds, I do recall hearing almost as distant as the continents were far his whisper into the breeze, “I’m sorry.”

I stiffened as though there had been no muscle left in my body to move. Much as there were immeasurable things circulating my mind at that instant, I could say nothing. The lights along the street behind him twinkled and danced as they always did, and I wanted to blur into the background the way those lights blurred into stardust behind my fast-approaching tears.

He hugged me the very moment he realized I was crying. It was dark, and I was unmoving and made not the slightest sound; he could not have known there were tears tumbling like snowflakes down my cheeks, but still he knew. Four years had taught us that. Only as his warmth wrapped around mine did I realize he had tears of his own. He was never one to cry, and I knew that he cried then not for guilt, nor for pity, but for honesty. His tears had been there because he loved me still, somehow enough not to want me getting hurt. But I did. And it was he who had caused it. Love is he who causes you pain, yet you hug him back with every bit of strength in your body, and mean it.

After what seemed a lifetime, he pulled back, kissed me in the forehead and, ashamed and without a word, turned around and left. I read somewhere that there was one thing worse than being left behind, and it was the feeling of not being worth an explanation. To me it felt one and the same. We had been five dwarf-steps away from my boarding house gate, but it felt like miles as I walked towards it. I stumbled in as soon as I realized I could move my legs, afraid that he might turn around and see me standing there still, watching his hazy silhouette amongst stardust. The parol before the front door blinked as I passed and staggered, half-blinded, towards my room.

A long time ago, Love was two seats away from me; he who discussed the Social Sciences with me as naturally as if it were locks of his own hair; he who would fiddle with my finger for a little game of thumb-wars when I needed cheering up. Now, Love is just a silly star we all put at the top of our Christmas tree: distant, sparkling, colorful, and playing a monotone jingle bell rock tune from its tiny battery-generated Santa Clause speaker…Something that, no matter how bright or beautiful, will be nothing but a star in its little box, kept in the closet to be forgotten after everything is done.

© Vigile 2006.

Again, dialogue needs to be worked out (among others), but that is to be expected.

it's all a matter of timing

2007-12-09T23:14:00.000+08:00

I have a new favorite movie of all time. And it may not seem all that great to many others, but I like it. Plus I think it was coupled with the fact that I could relate to it very much, plus I have a knack for different stories running in parallel, all very intense and well portrayed, plus Jude Law is so damn good looking.

I've always wanted to see that movie, The Holiday, since I first laid eyes on the trailer. That time it was just one of the handful of movies on my neglected to-watch list, and so I didn't think it was really anything more than a lighthearted movie about two women looking for themselves in an unfamiliar place over the holidays.

Well, well. To my surprise, it had much more depth than just that. All of them (and there were really four of them) each had their own story, each unfolding in its poignant way. Quite gracefully choreographed by the scriptwriter, I must say.

And I particularly like the fact that the little nuances of the plot, the little comings and goings you'd expect to be a default in such a scene (such as his still standing there on the porch when she runs back to him after leaving) were modified to make it seem less of a flick, and more of something that you'll actually find if it had been real life. A case in point is my standing-on-the-porch example. As a matter of fact, when Cameron runs back to him, he isn't standing on the porch anymore (Jude Law, good looking as he is, would have looked ridiculous standing there for give or take fifteen minutes waving at a cab that's already about a mile away). She finds him in the kitchen in tears, and in shame at being caught crying after losing her.

The direction, too, was fascinating. It was one for the sitcom books. :) Situational talaga ang pagka-funny niya. In particular, I enjoyed the telephone scene, with all the four characters in it.

Plus it's just a wonderful story, especially miss crème brulet's half of the story. Fun and exciting and unexpected in every corner.

These, among other things.

Although I do feel unsure about the unsureness of one pair's future, even though the ending was really happy. :) But that's about all the let down I can think of.

I believe though that part of my falling in love with this movie is timing and experience. I probably wouldn't have chosen a better time to see it (though I can't really say it was planned--was about to study math when I saw it was on HBO). Had I seen this earlier in my life, I wouldn't have had enough of the experience I have now to relate to, and appreciate it as much as I did this evening. I'd have to say this was especially true for the scene with Kate Winslet's speech looking back at every little detail, looking for what it was that she had done wrong. That whole speech, I could understand from start to finish. Martyr ba? Hahaha.

That's about it. Do watch it. It's fun. :)

Merry Christmas.

anything for my little soul

2007-12-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

I have been browsing and re-browsing, reading and re-reading my parent's wedding album. My father's words reach deep.

"Teena, you are my little soul. You infuse my little comings and goings with vigor and meaning."

"Little soul, will you always just be there? Just be there. When people have stopped laughing at my little jokes, you don't have to laugh. Just stick around. Just be there, little soul."

"When I see a guy, young, dashing, good looking, highly talented and successful, where words carry weight in respectable circles, I become timorous. What if this guy discovers and stakes a claim on Teena, my little soul? I cannot in reason put up a fight and I wont stand in the way because I know that you deserve him better than me and and he deserves you better than I do. I will just return to my burrow, lick my wounds, curl up in pain and say: Anything for my little soul. Anything."

"Idiocy is having known you without having loved you."

"I know we've past the hardest part of parting. The rest is waiting, waiting, waiting... The problem with waiting is meaning. Will you be there to give my waiting its meaning?"

Teena Bernido
12C Illinois Street
Cubao Quezon City

My love I love you little soul but a man not worth his promises is not worth his love I will come back but I have lost the right to ask you to wait longer I love you

Raul

That last one was a telegram from Yale six years after he promised to come back in three years.

A Chrismas Story

2007-12-05T11:54:00.000+08:00

This is an odd looking parol, the first for the night’s Christmas-lights watching around the neighborhood. I do it every year, at the eve of December, when all the houses are sure to have already been prepared to suit the holidays. I put my hands in the pocket of my trousers and stare at the lantern curiously. It seems to have an extra arm, jutting out between the top and left peaks in much the same way as a turtle’s head between its two forelegs. Could anyone have destroyed the cozy symmetry of a star any better? That is the first of my thoughts; the second being that I must’ve seen it before. Of course, it was likely, considering it is hanging from the roof of our next-door neighbor’s garage, but that isn’t what I meant.

You know how it is when you see something, the commonest of things, and it strikes you as though you could’ve dug out the exact same object from an obscure corner of your mind and replaced it without anyone ever noticing? That is what I meant. Hidden somewhere in the recesses of my subconscious, that very parol flickered, unwavering in one of my distant dreams.

It was in a forest, I think, but I can’t be sure. I was very young then, when I dreamt it. You know how dreams are, most of them are lost to you once you wake up, if not in time. Although I do remember it hanging from a branch high up in one of the brooding trees surrounding me. I looked up at it thunderstruck, with stars warm and twinkling at my feet, and scattered everywhere on the ground. The edges of my vision were a haze, as though mists covered them, and the air was the scent of stardust, which could have been the whiff of the fairy that was suddenly by my side. At least I thought she was a fairy, for when I was finally able to remove my eyes from the hypnotizing parol, I saw her small olive-colored butterfly wings. She was looking up as well, at the asymmetric lantern.

It looks as though there’s another star peaking from behind, she said to me. In that dream, her voice was like the echo of a cello.

In her young eyes were spangles of purple stars and her smile exuded an air of attractive impishness that suited the flutter of her little wings. In less than a minute after I had been awestruck by that parol, I was awestruck by her. She smiled ever brighter with my reaction, I remember, her eyes turning almost bright violet as she did so. It seemed she was used to such a dazed expression as mine.

I’m not quite sure how the dream went after that. The haze at the corners of my vision had been closing in. Either she picked up a handful of stars at our feet, twinkling brighter than any Christmas lights, and placed it on my palms before flying off, or she took my hand and we flew towards that oddly shaped lantern that always seemed to be the same distance away, glimmering steadily like we had never moved, even after having flown far above the ground. Its odd, I could remember the stars like droplets of water, warm as the morning sun as they trickled into my little palms, yet the hazelnut scent that trailed from her fluttering olive-green wings as she pulled me up towards that lantern was also so distinct. And behind her outline, the reds and blues of the parol shone like anything. Whichever it was, I was sure I felt that I wanted to be with that fairy with an impish smile forever.

I continue to stare at our neighbor’s parol for a few more minutes, trying in vain to remember which of the two happened next in that dream. The colors danced in constant rhythm without end, and the odd arm’s lights flashed as though it was right where it belonged. I stand there until I realize the person standing next to me. I look to my side and see a girl in simple jeans and a green turtleneck, and for a split second relief sets in. Suddenly there is this urge to take her hand and continue my Christmas lights watching with her the way it always was every year, but I stop myself.

She smiles weakly and tilts her head. “Hey.”

“Oh…Hi.”

“It’s weird noh?” she tells me. It takes a while before I realize she’s talking about the asymmetric latern. I look up at it again, but the odd arm doesn’t strike me as much anymore, much of my staring at it has gotten me used to its asymmetry.

“Yeah..” I let myself muse with its little light dance. From the corner of my eye, I see her watching it as well. I used to enjoy scenes like this with her, and I still do very much.

“Parang there’s another star trying to peak from behind.”

“I was about to say that,” I release a small laugh at it’s odd familiarity.

“I knew I’d see you walking somewhere along this street.” She smiles at me.

“Of course you do.” I smile back at her. We should be walking along this street together, is what I should have said, but I didn’t, because part of me doesn’t want to. I see her eyes twinkle, reflecting the blues and reds of the lantern.

Through the dark of night, I could see the three tiny moles on her face that I adored every time they catch my eye. They seem to me like Orion’s belt, and I admire it again this time, before she suddenly looks down. For the last few weeks of my being with her, I have gotten used to her looking away.

“Look. I’m...”

“I know,” I cut her off, “me too.”

The night before, she stayed at home with her sister, she told me. And yet she walked along the Christmas amusement park three jeepney rides away from home, taking a bite off a sandwich from a guy I’ve seen only once among the photos in her wallet. Fingers intertwined, they took a seat at the caterpillar as I staggered out the amusement park. I waited outside her house until she came home.

“Maybe next Christmas I can go parol watching with you again.” She says.

“Maybe.”

An awkward pause follows. I look back at the bizarre looking lantern and wonder where my olive-winged fairy is. If only she could fly me away from the spot I was standing on, and up towards the lantern of my dreams. She shifted her weight before she spoke again.

“Here,” she pulls out a small clear bottle from her pocket, and puts it in my hand. It is filled with colorful paper stars that I remember making for her a few years ago.

When we started going out, I began writing little messages and secrets every week in strips of colored paper and folding them into stars, slowly filling out that bottle. I gave it to her once it had been filled and told her to read every star. Now here it is, warm in my palm from the heat of her pocket.

I look at her again. The eyes that have lost none of its sparkle seems to want to say something more, but she remains quiet, a quiet that deafens both of us, but which none of us dare break.

As the love of my life starts walking away, part of me wants to hold her back but my arms stay in place, and my lips do not open. I turn back towards the lantern, afraid that she might turn around and see me looking at her still, watching her silhouette amongst stardust of lights along the street.

Only on Christmas day will I realize that she herself left a single white star in this bottle for me, and only then, when I read it, will I realize I have lost the most precious being in my life to nothing but my foolish jealousy. But for now I stand here on the sidewalk of this dim lit street sparkling with Christmas lights. In my hand the warmth of the bottle rubs against my fingers, and my fairy flies away leaving droplets of stars in my palms and a parol, flickering and unwavering as one in my distant dreams.

© Vigile 2006.

There are many things I have to reconcile in this story. Like, what the hell does an assymetric parol look like? O_o And why exactly did he lose her for only his pride? (related to what was written on that white star heehee.)

Anyway, in case you're wondering, that was written a year ago for Ventures.

naaalala mo pa ba toh txtm8?

2007-11-17T09:33:00.000+08:00

ang buring. baw.

Sender: txtm8
Sent:
20:07:14
04-09-2006

e ikaw?
tunay ka bang giniginaw?
gs2ng gs2 mo bang sumigaw?
at humiling na 2luyang pumanaw?

Sender: txtm8
Sent:
20:09:24
04-09-2006

ah, ganun pala ang nais mo.
ang gawin itong liriko.
e cno ang gagawa ng tono?
at kakantahin ba ito ng koro?

Sender: txtm8
Sent:
20:29:20
04-09-2006

tlagang lugaw ang kakainin?
grabe. mas gus2 ko pa ang sampalin.
kesa ganyan ang pagkain.
laway ko nalang ang lulunukin.

Sender: txtm8
Sent:
20:37:21
04-09-2006

ganon? maarte pa ako.
e kung di ang gusto ko,
anong magagawa ko?
isulat mo tong mga msg ko.
para ikaw ay makuntento.
awitin na natin to.
lalapatan pa ng tono.

Sender: txtm8
Sent:
20:47:05
04-09-2006

nakow. bgla akong nainip.
nahihirapan ka bang mag-isip?
o baka naman naka-idlip?
at cellfone ay di na nasilip?
tsktsktsk.
ano ang iyong panaginip?

Sender: txtm8
Sent:
20:56:31
04-09-2006

a quotable

2007-11-15T21:34:00.000+08:00

"Commonly, indeed, the silent man, whose brain is loaded with unexpressed ideas, is more likely to be a successful public speaker than the brilliant talker who daily exhausts himself in sharp sayings."
- Peter Landry

My father and Tito Phillip Medalla. XD

libra = lame?

2007-11-12T22:46:00.000+08:00

You know, I really had no intention of reading this. But believe it or not, I accidentally did. I read the whole thing. It's kind of accurate here there..Kinda scary actually.

This is the ZODIAC HOROSCOPE for you
Once you have read this, there's no turning back. Below are the original descriptions of the 12 zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologic predictor. Read your sign, then forward/repost it on, with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line, This is real deal, try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from there.

SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humour. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO - The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! however not the kind of person you wanna mess with ... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

ARIES - The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward

GEMINI - Irresistible
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know where... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER - The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS - The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

nainggit ako kay stacy.

2007-11-06T13:37:00.000+08:00

Next year I will dress up for Halloween if it kills me.

wonderful morning

2007-11-04T10:49:00.000+08:00

I woke up to my parents singing Sa Ugoy ng Duyan in the other room. <3

timezone or a pot of gold?

2007-11-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

There's this thing with energies. Some people say that there are these places so concentrated with the right kinds of energy that they bring luck to people. This afternoon, Genina, Tracy and I found a place that had just the right kind of energy for us.

For our last gimmik for the sembreak, we decided to play in the arcade at Gateway. When we got there, the first game that caught our eyes was the crane game. Everyone must know it, the "win everytime" game. XD Hehehe. Gen and I were just staring at the stuffed creatures (she particularly fancied the crab ^^) while Tracy went straight for the candy compartment. And sure enough, there were a handful of candies that no one bothered to collect when they didn't get their little toy. So even before we spent any money, we already had the sugar to get our blood going.

That Timezone wasn't the best Timezone I've been to, I'd have to admit. It didn't have the game I liked the most: Guitar Freaks, 11th Mix. Which was quite a disappointment. But we stayed there because of some SMS confusion with Sig (and the last thing we want is to get into her nerves. >_<) and we didn't have a bad time anyway.

In fact, while Tracy and I were just bumming, (waiting for Sig to arrive,) we sat around the fighting arcade area and I was playing with the Soul Calibur controls while I thought it was on demo. Only after two rounds did I realize that Ivy was being controlled by the very joystick I was toying with. O_O We didn't swipe our card or anything, and I don't really know what happened...But we had a free game! And I gave the controls to Tracy because I was pretty sure she could win it from two rounds down (It was fun watching her anyway, her being Tracy and all XD). And she did win it. But it doesn't end there. What's more, we didn't just have one free game. We had, oh, five? XD Or maybe seven? I'm not too sure because I was too excited about our luck to count the number of times Tracy won and lost and pressed the 'Continue?' button. Someone must have swiped their card more than twice and must have forgotten about it. She certainly won many many times (she's Konata), so it seemed really really long. And there was always this challenger on the other side, who Tracy kept beating and who kept on challenging her. Hahaha.

Anyway, throughout this whole thing with Soul Calibur and the fighting arcade, Gen had been looking for us all around Timezone. And in doing so she discovered a shooting game that still had 1 credit! So she played it. XD Some luck huh?

Doesn't end there though..Because once the three of us have started to walk around again, Tracy and I watched the huge crane game as some people were playing it, while Gen, tired from all her walking I guess, sat at a random racing game seat to rest. You know how it is when you're seated in such places, your fingers can't resist pressing all those little buttons, which was what she was doing. And to her surprise, the game started. And before she knew it she was driving around in a race car. XD

Beat that. Hahaha. I've never before experienced so much luck in any one place. ^__^ I hope this isn't the last time. Whee~

reading my livejournal entries has become a hobby

2007-10-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

Vigile (someonereal_) wrote,
@ 2005-02-15 22:16:00
Current mood: drained

Current music: Come What May - Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor

Gomenasai
I spent a lot today, but before I let you go about telling me that I shouldn't be complaining, allow me to inform you that I did not spend seventy-two bucks, I spent four-hundred twelve. More than eighty percent of my weekly allowance and much more than two-hunderd percent of my weekly budget. I suppose that's enough for me to earn the right to state such a scandalous claim?

But yeah. I really shouldn't be complaining. Because I spent a little less than ten percent of today's spending for a good cause. And there's really nothing wrong with spending on charity, is there? Not that I'm trying to save money for myself in the first place. I wouldn't call it charity, but it's close. And unfortunately due to what economists call imperfect information, which I do not have the energy to correct, I am a selfish villain who complains about having dissaved for a good cause. Despite the fact that all this time I was saving for a cause that, to me, is just as equally good.

I may not even be able to help with the infinitestimal sum of money I've saved up, relative to the amount my family needs. That is why I've been thinking of studying Excel and Anova (or was that Enova?) to attempt working over the summer as a research assistant, which pays a hell lot more than what I'm getting now (from my allowance). You might have thought I wasn't being serious and you're wrong. But let's forget about it.

I was wrong too, I'm always wrong so I don't really have any right to tell you you're wrong.
And most of the time, you're not. Do believe I'm not being sarcastic.

Anyway.

As much as I am allowing myself to move so messily out of topic, despite all the rules in English prose about organization, I am as equally sorry for arguing with you. You were right. There is nothing wrong with giving away fifty measely pesos for that poor boy's family. And it was such a trivial thing to raise my voice at you for.

I'll confess though, [if you will allow me to present one last excuse for my behavior] that my faulty receptiveness has caused me to fail understanding your point until you bluntly explained it to me when the damage was nearly complete. If I had picked up on it a minute or two before, I probably wouldn't have kept insisting that my side had basis.

See, so in the end it really was my fault. And you were right all along. And I should have just shut my mouth. I'm sorry.

Hahaha. This is such a funny entry. I'm so defensive and almost believable in my split personality-like tone. I was reading it and I thought I that the Vigile up there was talking to me, the entry reader, but no. Haha. Basta. Ang labo. And I love it in its confusion.

i saw the end of a rainbow today

2007-10-29T20:23:00.000+08:00

it ended where the red-painted tennis court began. it looked so close that if i had ran a few steps to it, i could've hugged the rainbow.

but there wasn't any pot of gold.

it felt like a scene rare enough that you should wish on it when you see it. i don't remember wishing though.

heartbeark on christmas

2007-10-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

I was looking through the files on my old laptop (because I was making some room for The Sims 2 since that laptop had a video and sound card and this one didn't) and I found two short stories that I had written a year ago during Christmas season. I remember writing them for Ventures. I don't remember if they were published in Ventures. Both of them were break-up stories, both quite well written.

It's funny. I remember being highly unsatisfied with those two stories when I had written them. Which is probably why they never really crossed my mind until I rediscovered them tonight. I also remember that when I had first written A Reunion, I didn't like it. See the pattern? For some reason, the stories I don't like when I finish them are the stories that turn out to be pretty good.

In retrospect, I think the same is true otherwise. When I write a story I find all right, it gets murdered by my classmates and my professor. O_O Last semester was a testament to that. Maybe next time I'll just pretend not to like my stories haha.

If not for their christmas theme, I would probably have posted them here. But it's too early for that. ^^

something to think about

2007-10-27T02:40:00.000+08:00

Number one: How to describe the word "right" (as in the direction right, not correct right) to a blind man without touching him. Describe it in no matter how long or short, just as long as it isn't tautologous. It took Kuya Mark about five minutes to find an answer to that. It's very mind boggling, and challenging. I tried but I was as tautologous as anything.

Number two: keeping a writer's notebook. It will have an endings section, a beginnings section, and a list of the books that are good examples for such rendering as falling in love (The English Patient---when Ondaatje described Katherine and Almasy's affair), or character description (American Gods), among others. For the moment those two books are the only two I can use as examples because they are the only two I've given enough of my time to in the last few months. It's a very nice feeling to have, the feeling of more fluid translations of thoughts into words due to the recent exposure to figures of speech and nice quotable phrases from reading. The lack of which I've struggled with during my creative writing course last semester. A writer will never be anything without being a reader. Never.

Anyway, I digressed. The Endings section will be a list of random endings that come to me when I'm on a train or half-dreaming on my bed that are fantastic enough to keep for the time being until I'd need it for a story. In the same light will be the Beginnings section. Great ideas that are not full stories yet, but have the potential to be someday when I'm in a better disposition to continue it.

Maybe I should include a phrases section in that writer's notebook. Just nice phrases that pop into my head that are neither an ending or a beginning. Oooh. This excites me. XD

i came home with a bagful of distractions

2007-10-25T22:18:00.000+08:00

Sig's overnight was a load of food and fun. ^^

I've almost forgotten how wonderful it is to be around her computer. XD And I'm sure Tracy will never forget it. She stayed up latest, her face glued to the humongous screen and her tiny Solstice character while we were all doing our time under the covers. And she slept for three hours after Stacy had left at about seven-thirty in the morning.

We played Monopoly until about two in the morning and learned a number of valuable lessons: (at least I did, because Sig and Gen had known them even before the game started) never let anyone take possession of both Park Place and Boardwalk because that only ends the game, in a sense. O.o Yours truly was the first casualty, from which I also learned that the cheapest piece of property was absolutely useless, even with hotels. No one lands on them. Not a dime did I earn with that property before I went bankrupt.

The Pajero almost got towed, if not for my father's keen intuition and gut feel. Something I wish neither to recall nor recount to anyone especially my parents. The important thing is, it didn't. The trio got there in good time. Had we been a few minutes late, I'd have been in deep shit.

Did I mention that I've almost forgotten how pleasant it feels in my stomach to be in the presence of Sig's computer? XD I got my (not-so-)fair share of game time when Sig let me play a little bit of The Sims 2. <33 Fair enough, but now quite so, because Tracy hogged it for her pseudo-RO game the rest of the time (shrieking like everything whenever she got pwned =P).

And it was quite unexpected that I come home from that happy and gay sleep over with a bagful of distractions. Romeo and Juliet anime CD's from Kimmy. The Sims CD's from Stacy. And American Gods from Sig. Whee~ And I thought I was dead set on my plans for the sem break. I still am btw. My days are just going to get a little more crowded. XD

It's a shame Selda had to sleep through a lot of the fun and while Kimmy missed most of it, and didn't get to see Gen at all. But I'm not complaining. At least we were all got there at one point or another.

Thank you friends. <333 It's been a while since we all got together for that long a span of time. I was delighted to be reminded of those times during the intersection of our Phoenix Pendant love triangle debates and Coraline when we'd draw our characters with button eyes. Kind of creepy, but memorable.

making up for lost entries

2007-10-24T11:20:00.000+08:00

You'd think after a new layout that I'd be more productive in my blogging. I thought the same. But then I realized that things in my life have turned un-bloggable (based on certain standards that others have set), against which no new layout can change.

Since two christmases ago, the topics in my blog have been reduced to nothing other than the things that I have eventually lost interest in. And it has become quite a strain being unable to talk about anything else...Other things that make me happy. I don't know. I should just be myself I guess. They can't love me any less.

My life is at least an eight-pointed star. At least eight for October. This month is my month. Throughout which I've spent time with almost every corner of my life, without my fully realizing it. All eight or more corners of it, I've spent time with this month. Even those I haven't seen in a while.

I am happy. Content. Just because I haven't been blogging, it doesn't mean nothing makes me happy enough to blog. There's a whiff of privacy in this happiness, even though sometimes it saddens me that I can't share it with people I hold with high regard.

It's not mutual anymore, me and those people. At least I feel it's not mutual. They don't hold me with as much respect as they used to. I guess it's my own fault. No. It can't all be my fault. I made decisions that attempted to tear down any walls that divide my spheres of experience into different parts. I was honest. I did not lie to them.

They have a right to their opinions. And it's not me they dislike. But in attacking my choices, part of my eight-pointed star, they're attacking me. And I'm beginning to feel what JE feels whenever he sees people laugh at me in some public place. I say, it's not you they're laughing at, it's me. He says, it doesn't matter, it still hurts.

But it doesn't make me any less happy. It just tugs at me once in a while, but I've learned to live with it.

.

Oohh! I'm delighted! I still have a shot at my goal. <333

.

I have eight more Timezone tickets to use up before the end of October. That's sixteen more free games.

The kada was almost complete yesterday. :D happy.

2007-10-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

my piece of autumn

2007-10-13T01:59:00.000+08:00

I had to lend a Math 17 book to Er a few days ago and in the process I discovered some valuable things between its pages. Such a beautiful discovery. <3

Stacy was the first to give me one after her summer cruise in Germany back in 2005 (it's the one I'm holding). It was the simplest, but most special gift I've received in my life. Then after my mother's visits to Japan, she brought one home for me too. So beautiful!

I'm not making the mistake of sticking them into some random notebook again! This time I've put them in between the pages of a book I'm pretty sure I won't lose. ^^

I have lost valuable pieces of me

2007-10-04T02:30:00.000+08:00

Vigile (someonereal_) wrote,
@ 2006-05-10 00:15:00

"The lights on the highway are so relaxing, like hundreds of little prisms reflecting a single beam of sunlight into spangles on a black tapestry."

Vigile (someonereal_) wrote,
@ 2005-10-31 18:39:00

The afternoon sun had a different glow, like in dreams…or in Heaven. It was white and its sacred-colored beams shone on me through my bedroom window as I lay in bed. I was scared.

Only once, or twice maybe (I couldn’t be sure), had I experienced this white eerie glow, but neither of them had any tangible realism. Once I was in a trance and felt suddenly that I was in this room, nowhere, with white curtained windows and nothing outside them. Everything was glowing pearl and moss white and there he was, the God with a face almost faceless like the iridescent glow of the white sun. In His embrace I was suddenly filled and dizzy with heavy light pouring and pouring into me until I was back in my seat at home, knees weak, beside my bedroom window.

Another time it was a dream. Much earlier; much younger. Again I was standing in a room, nowhere, the empty bright silver abyss outside white-curtained windows. The gleam of everything was striking pearl white and he was there, someone I knew from childhood, seen and unseen behind wind-blown curtains. Hidden and out into view again, white as everything, mocking me with his translucent presence. I’d walk towards him, reaching out and he’d be gone.

But here, now; this afternoon was real. No white room amidst a nowhere of silvery emptiness, green blinds for white-curtained windows, everything in pale bright white-yellow, and there was just the sun. A gleaming entity suspended in the afternoon sky with its iridescent glow that scared me; at once making me both empty and full with its haunting light, like a permeable sheet of cloth in a pool of radiance gushing through, and through, and through.. I looked towards the pearl sun, its soft circular border indistinguishable from the silver sky behind it. It glowed of dreamy white with hints of gold.

And I wished for you. That you’d materialize before me from the sparkles and glints of the glass chimes hanging from my window. And you’d be with me here, stroking my hair and whispering with a voice soft and warm as light into my ear that we had a chance. Lying with me, as white and warm as everything, sparkling and glinting beside me until the haunting radiance of the sun faded away with the afternoon.

But the sparkles and glints remained sparkles and glints before my eyes, ebbing with the seconds as the white and silver shimmer of the sun gleamed with a different glow, all the while leaving only illusions of your eyes from the spangles of light. Slowly and with splendid grace, the afternoon sun with its eerie glow crept across the empty, white abyss of a sky, where nowhere had been, and the whole time, all I had beside me were the one…two unreal encounters with this alien white glow until with the staggering seconds they all faded away with the night.

These are what I have lost through the years.

Vigile (someonereal_) wrote,
@ 2006-05-22 01:51:00

LIST I: Things I wanna do if I were a Billionaire and had nothing to do with my money.
1) Travel.
2) Donate one/two million to the Central Visayan Institute, and one million to the Research Center for Theoretical Physics and probably donate to other institutions that are promising and innovative.
3) Sponsor a number of scholars.
4) Buy the F Hospital and revive it, aesthetic-wise, and reputation wise, with my partners.
5) Start a business maybe. But then again, I wouldn't really need more money, especially since I can live an exceptionally spoiled life on just the interest of that billion.
6) Keep my parents healthy and happy. It seems a significant amount of money is involved for them to live a happy life after retirement.
7) Tour Europe, and ride a cruise.

LIST II: Things I wanna do if I were an Eccentric Billionaire and Creative Genius
1) Maybe start an institution that will help others start their own business. Wehehehe. Dunno how I'll be doing that.
2) Hmm..if I'd revive anything in UP with my money, and being the eccentric that I am, I'd give some money for the improvement of the infirmary. For some reason students dislike going there, even though they offer free destist services for students. Sayang naman.
3) I'd also contribute to the improvement of the tennis courts behind the Shopping Center. Maybe give it a roof, some lights and better bleachers, plus improve the quality of the hard courts there, it's just terrible. By then Tennis UP would probably hold their tambayan there anyway.
4) I'd work with Gen to bring down the Ocean Adventure place, and any other similar institutions.
5) Since I am a genius, (wehehehe) I'd study at an Ivy League school for Masteral and Doctorate. Cambrige? Yale? Harvard? UPenn? Princeton? MIT? *swoons*
6) Write a novel.
7) Compose a song. (I am creative, according to the assumption)
8) Make sure I always have a pair of of good quality tennis shoes. For some reason none of my shoes last me a year without getting badly worn down.
9) Get the best tennis racket. If practice can't make me better, maybe equipment can. XD
10) Fund a tree planting campaign in NCR. It's been my dream, and the reason I put up my humble Nature Club a long long time ago.
11) Buy Gen her own beach since she'd gonna need it if she had her own jetski. :P
12) Contribute to the improvement of the Philippines' Culture and Arts, the way the Marcoses did. It's one other thing we've neglected.
13) Give funding for improvement of the roads and highways all over the Philippines (especially in rural areas). It'll lessen their transportation costs when shipping agricultural goods to the city, hence, fresher fruits and vegetables and fish, at a cheaper price. Plus, tourists spots (na nasa liblib na probinsya) are more accessible to tourists.
14) Buy back what was taken from La Hacienda and build a house there so that my parents can live there when they retire. Plus I'll hire more capable farm-tenders who I trust so that we don't always get cheated with our own mangoes. And plant more mango trees. LOL
15) Buy a pet Panda. If not a Koala. XD If it's illegal, I'll build an institution in China (Australia) that will help in the prevention of Panda (Koala) extinction. In a sense I'd still have my Panda (Koala).
16) Buy Sig her Lotus Tree bonsai. If none exist, form and fund a team of scientists and genetic engineers to study and make Lotus tree bonsais. And get a nice one for Sig. And maybe get one for myself as well. LOL
17) Travel.

LIST III: Things I Wanna Dare To Do
1) Climb a well-known mountain. Although I really doubt I'd ever be given the honor to reach a tenth of the Everest.
2) Yes, scuba diving. ^__^ Gen's desires have rubbed off on me.
3) Yes, horseback riding. I was so drawn to it especially as I was reading Beauty...I want to have a Greatheart. LOL
4) Go joyriding into a far far away place.
5) Hmm...White water rafting sounds really really appealing. *.*
6) Traverse a rainforest..In Malaysia or something. XD Like the people in Discovery Channel.
7) Run away and live on my own for a month.
8) Ride a hot air balloon.
9) What's that thing that you ride na parang wings ng airplane, except much lighter, and you simply hold on to a bar underneath it and jump off a cliff and glide with it until you reach the ground as if you had wings? What was that you call it? ^_^ I've always want to try that.
10) Break a heart.

LIST IV: Things I Wanna Learn and Hopefully Be Good At
1) Climbing trees.
2) Kite flying.
3) Writing short stories and novels. Whee~
4) Nihonggo. Maybe a Europeal Language too. ^^
5) Drawing.
6) Shooting a gun. Hehehe...Nakakatuwa si Gen.
7) Some musical instrument. So i can compose songs. Yey~
8) Tennis din, syempre. I've learned it, but I'm relatively low average as of the moment, (and this list does include the "hopefully be good at" condition)
9) Make friends.
10) Photoshop and Flash. Gaaaah. My dream for what, a decade already? >___<
11) Cooking and sewing. I realized I need those skills if I ever want to travel. T_T

LIST V: Things I Wanna Do Before I Die
1) Write a book.
2) Get published in an acclaimed Academic journal.
3) Have a family.
4) Finish the Phoenix Pendant.
5) Propose a Theory/Theorem in Mathematics or Economics that will bear my name when I die. (The Fabella Teorem, or kahit Fabella-someoneelse Theorem).
6) Visit Zurich, and Sydney, and Geneva, and the Netherlands.
7) Revisit Nagoya, and Manchester.
8) Tour Europe, and ride a cruise.

Maybe in 10 years I can fill out these lists again?

Vigile

Your calm manner and maturity belie a fierce determination to be at the top where you can exercise authority and get things done. Although somewhat of a rebel you attract much support through treating others with kindness and friendship. You have a broad scope and are naturally drawn to travel or projects which can expand your knowledge and understanding. Your talents and generosity bring you emotional and material contentment.

Fairly accurate I think...

stalking only when I have an exam the next day

2007-09-27T22:11:00.000+08:00

very good sense of timing. ^^

the family

2007-09-09T15:43:00.000+08:00

I was at a cozy little coffee shop in Trinoma trying to read through my Yield Rates notes when it occurred to me that my family is a level more intense than the usual, I think. I this realization came to me when I noticed the people in the next table: a family of about ten (including tito's and tita's) and they were talking about school. High school in particular. Shallow stuff about how hard it is at the beginning, et cetera. Something I don't recall my family ever talking about around the table. Our usual dinner conversations have something to do with ideas, something new about the fibonacci numbers that is so interesting, my father's insights on relationships, a philisopher mentioned in class, occasional stories of my parent's childhood.

This intensity, maybe it's because there are only three of us in the family. The smaller our number, the more time with have for each other. Or maybe it's just my father's own intensity radiating to the two others in the unit. See, my father is quite intense. Not strict-intense, nor cold-intense, nor is it the kind of intense people would characterize as mysterious. It's an intensity that comes from the mind. He has this unconventional insightfulness about life the roots back to his own experiences. I think that's one side of him that a lot of people don't see.

Sometimes I'm even disappointed at myself for not having lived up to it. More often these days, he's been telling me that when the time comes for him to die, everything that we have: the house, the cars, will all be used up for medical expenses, et cetera. And before that time comes, all there is that he can leave behind for me is his mind. Usually I can only understand up to the point where he says he'll die, because I get scared to death and feel like crying since I've never had a second of my life without him and my mother. But this morning, he asked me to spend more time with them, my family, because he said, the closer he gets to that time, the harder it becomes to pass on what wisdom he can to me. And the only way my parents can share their bundles of wisdom with me is when we're all together.

I admit I have been spending more time outside the house. I've been studying late into the night at McDonalds, and leaving early in the morning to get some more studying done before I go to class. He had described me as a boarder in the house, and not as a member of the family anymore. But you see, staying in the house scares me if it is a sort of anticipation of his death.

He tells me sometimes that in five or ten years they will be gone. And that there are so many things I haven't learned from them. Of course, I believe and I hope that that is an underestimation. But still, hearing your dad talk about his death is scary. And I'm almost not sure if I'd take this over a shallow conversation about school.

Just so you know.

2007-09-09T03:24:00.001+08:00

By the way, Marion lost to Serena. And Serena lost to Justine; the number one seed who was beaten by Marion not so long ago in Wimbledon.

Since I don't seem to be in the mood for sleep.

2007-09-09T02:09:00.000+08:00

I've been cheating on my blog entries lately. ^^ I do that in my journal too. I write quick lines that don't really have anything to do with what's happening in my life just so I can fulfill the one-entry-a-week requirement. (And even then I'm not very successful at it).

Anyway. Hopefully this entry will be more meaningful.

Last week I was studying with Tennis UP in McDo when it hit me (after it hit them)...The -ber months have arrived. So quickly too. It's hard to imagine that Christmas season is already in view. O__o It seems as though it was just a month or two ago when I was with Ate Lav in Bohol, taking pictures of myself beside the christmas tree. I can't believe it's been a year since that fateful vacation I always blamed for all the weight I gained (and failed to lose). And when I think about it, I don't feel like I've accomplished anything important. It's like things went by too quickly for me to have done anything of value. They say it's all in the little things. I don't know...I hope not. Because in such a case I'm afraid I might have failed...

Sometimes I think that I've segregated my life into compartments...Like in a pigeon hole where some compartments are packed with papers and events and activity, while others are collecting dust. I didn't want it to be like that, it just turned out that way out of circumstance. I could give a number of reason if I wanted to, most of them my own doing. Most of them springing from the fact that there were things I should've kept to myself even when I felt like I needed a shoulder to cry on. Now that it has turned out this way, whenever I feel so happy and complete, there are still some parts of me that remain empty.

Some people will probably read this and tell me, well, you can't have everything. I'm remembering a younger version of me saying there will always be a tradeoff. I have a creative writing classmate whose epiphany for her story is that people grow apart. But then I remember walking along the oval with Gen, and she was telling me how Bianca had said she envied us because we had high school friends that would last. I've told Jojo about this once. I don't remember if he'd said anything, but I do remember that talking about it to someone made the situation more palpable.

I bumped into Bernice the other day. And somewhere along our conversation she had mentioned in passing that many of them were anticipating a break up. Its funny how there are these things things you're aware of that only really sink in when other people justify them. I guess this is good old karma at work. I can only hope it ends with me.

OMFG! Marion plays Serena in the round of sixteen of the US Open!! T_T Go Marion!! Beat that American!

2007-09-02T03:13:00.000+08:00

And even if she wins, she'll be playing Justine in the quarterfinals! Marion, it's gonna be tough but you're tougher! *cheers Marion on*

Anyway, two upsets wouldn't be that bad. Both Serena and Justine have won the title before.

three things i want

2007-08-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

a haircut: I realized after getting my graduation picture taken that the whole time when I was in high school, I had long hair. And more than half of my college life I had short hair. And only now that I've grown it long again and have gotten my college grad pic taken did I realize that my grad pic doesn't represent my college life. When I think about it, my hair in the high school yearbook is just the same length as my hair right now. I should've had it cut before the pictorials.
bangs: I miss my bangs. It made me feel like I was beautiful.
appreciation: If I were a Sim, I'd ask someone to appreciate me. T_T

Amagad! I cost P2250

2007-08-26T18:28:00.000+08:00

JOKE LANG. I only cost P282 hahaha. XD

You look it over the following list
and see how many of these things you
have done. BUT you have to ADD up the
money amount along the way. Then post
the amount that you are as the title
of the bulletin.

PS: the smaller the better!

1. Had sex: P40.00

2. Smoked: P40.00

3. drank alcohol: P20.00

4. Went skinny dipping: P40.00

5. Kissed someone of the opposite sex:
P4.00

6. Kissed someone of the same sex:
P20.00

7. Cheated on a test: P28.00

8. Fell asleep in class: P20.00

9. Been expelled: P40.00

10. Been in a fist fight: P40.00

11. Given oral: P40.00 (fellatio i
think
counts)

12. Got oral: P40.00

13. Prank called the police: P40.00

14. Stole something: P40.00

15. Done drugs: P40.00

16.Dyed your hair: P20.00

17. Done something sexually with
someone older (like a few years):
P40.00.

18. Courted someone OVER 18 (if your
under 18): P40.00

19. Ate a whole bag of oreos: P40.00

20. Cried yourself to sleep: P2.00

21. Said you love someone but didnt
mean it: P4.00

22. Been in love: P20.00

23. Got caught doing something that
you shouldnt have been doing: P40.00

24. Went streaking: P4.00

25. Got arrested: P40.00

26. Cuddled: P4.00

27. Peed in the pool: P20.00

28. Played spin the bottle: P40.00

29. Done something you regret: P20.00

Now add up and post as "I COST P....."

I wonder why it's the smaller the better...@_@ I sure want to be worth something.

Tennis Babble

2007-08-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

Guys, I would like you to meet Rafael Nadal, undisputed King of Clay, and Ana Ivanovic, one of the three up-and-coming Serbian's in the Tennis pro's circuit. I wonder, do they look alike to you? Because just recently, these two players have been aesthetically compared with, you'd never guess...

well, me.

*silence*

Honestly, the Rafael thing I feel rather uncertain about, it was an ancient observation I first heard from someone late last year. But on the other hand, I really don't mind apparently looking like Ana. XD (You can get a better idea of how pretty she is by clicking me!) Kuya Mark and Stephen have even started calling me Ivanovig or Ivanovigile. But I think it all started when I began to get my serves in. Haha. Kuya Mark was so used to my serves going out all the time that he couldn't understand the balls that were coming in from my service all of a sudden. Wehehe. I dunno how that turned into Ana, but it did. (Maybe it was also the effect of my having a Novak Djokovic* aka. Stephen doubles partner -- ~~which by the way made us undefeated for a while XD~~)

* Novak Djokovic is another Serbian who
recently beat the champ Roger Federer

So anyway, I mentioned that my service has improved. I'm hoping it's not because I've been borrowing rackets from different people these past weeks. I hope when I finally get myself a racket of my own it'll stay. See, my racket got lost. T_T And while I figure out which part of my daily expenses I must give up to save for a new one, Ive been borrowing all over the place. It was when I started borrowing Kuya Mark's rackets that Ivanovigile was born. ^__^ (No, I don't think he's selling it though...*tears*)

So anyway...(horribly rough transition to a new topic)...

Advanced Happy Birthday Sigrouney Lina Pena!!

(I forgot how to get the n-curl working using hotkeys..T.T)

Today was a wonderful day. :) I got to see Sig and Gen again for a while. The rest of the day was better than okay too. XD

I think you could say I'm happy. *huggles world*

___
Ooh! And last: Happy Birthday Kai! :D

Breather

2007-08-12T10:02:00.000+08:00

The first batch of exams have come and gone. And I'm still here. ^___^ Hahaha...What a thing to say.

I've been trying out new study strategies recently, if only to boost my dwindling productivity. I've tried the conventional staying up 'til very late at McDonalds on the eve of an exam. I'm usually with Tennis UP people, and we go home around four in the morning. I did this three days in a row and on the morning of the third day I was definitely bangag. I'd blurt out incoherent phrases everywhere, and my logic was a little skewed. I think I was counting the number of people who noticed my condition, but bangag as I was, I wouldn't have remembered.

I've also tried the no-sleep strategy: stayed up all night solving Theory of Numbers problems with JE until it was time to go to school for our first classes. (It's kind of disgusting when you think about it, but we were sure to go home and take our baths before the study session began). Anyway, I couldn't handle it, and had to sleep in the car for one and a half hours instead of study while waiting for my first class to start. (I came one and a half hours early for my first class, and it was good that I did because I wouldn't have been able to sleep before we had a quiz...which surprised me, although it wasn't a surprise quiz, and I only remembered that the prof announced it the meeting before when I was in the middle of the second problem.)

The final strategy, which I think is the most effective whenever I successfully wake up for it, is the sleep early-wake up early strategy. I go to bed around 7-8pm, sleep for six hours and wake up at three-ish, head to a 24-hour establishment, and hit the books. (Not in my pajamas, of course. I take a bath and get ready somewhere there.) This is one very productive study technique, as long as you actually wake up that early in the day and don't forget your pencil case. (It happened to me once and I slept the rest of the morning in McDonalds, unable as I was to solve any math problems. O_o)

All those strategies all in two weeks. You can imagine the damage it has done to my bioclock. I'm not quite sure I can call it sustainable just yet. Give me some time~ Hehehe.

Sustainable environmental quality would be nice.

Anyway. I did find Forever, just in case you wanted to know. Hehehe. I'm not sure though if it'll help in my story anymore, since my plot has shifted to something away from the theme in that book, but it was a pleasant read nonetheless. And it gave me one or two insights on how to handle young adult fiction. (Number one insight: never use kilometric sentences -- which is my disease. >_<) Well, anyway, it doesn't really matter, because at the moment I'm only on the planning stage the plan I have for my story is on the rocks. You see, I think I bit off more than I can chew. I chose for my young adult story, a sort of coming of age of a teenage boy of 18 who is faced with the burden of coming up with a certain amount of money the quickest way possible for the treatment of his girlfriend diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy.

Issue number one: an ectopic pregnancy can kill a woman in at most 24 hours. The baby isn't even considered in this case because it'll die anyway. So my story more or less happens in a span of a day. I'm wondering if I can successfully render a fast-paced story.
Issue number two: does he get the money or not? There are many options: borrow from friends, pawn property, look for a 5-6 lender, tell the parents, enter into an underground group doing shady stuff for big bucks. I haven't even answered this very basic problem at this, supposedly late stage of planning.
Issue number three: the girlfriend dies vs. doesn't die. At first I was dead set (no pun intended) on killing the poor girl as a sort of turning point, so that in hysteria, my young adult will be pushed to choose the worst option if only to pay for all the debts. But then the professor said that anything that happens after her death will be uninteresting to the reader. It has to culminate with the death, if I choose to kill her. So now I'm thinking, maybe he does get the money, after everything he goes through, and the girl still dies. I don't know.
Issue number four: what coming of age realization does my young adult get from all of this? Basic would be to be careful not to get your girlfriend pregnant. Not so coming of age if you ask me. It has to be something deeper, more life-changing in a sense. But what?

Grawr~
Not something I should be blogging about is it? O_o I dunno, this could be an equivalent for free-writing. Maybe a lightbulb will light up if I keep doing this to solve my young adult lit problems.

Hmm...It's almost mid-August. Time is so fleet-footed.

Preserve the environment. I wonder what in particular about the environment I can make a propaganda poster on. Grr.

Finally...

Belated Happy Birthday Criselda Bugasto!
aka. Selda, Barri, Reiko, et cetera. XD

Kokak at OPAC topak

2007-08-05T09:13:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my Iska life, I've found a book that cannot be found in the UP Library. ^o^ Forever by Judy Blume. This fact isn't exactly a good thing for me, I need it read and studied so that I can be guided in my young-adult writing under the same...*cough*...theme.

To those of you who know what Forever is about..Lemme just say that my professor referred me to it. :P

Which reminds me, I read this short story which was published back in the 50's about pedophilia. The amazing thing about it is that it was written subtly enough to have been accepted by the publishers. Pedophilia and anything sexual in the literature used to be (and still is) a very controversial topic, especially in the Philippines, since the biggest market for books in this country are schools, i.e., private schools. But if you read the story, you'd have only a vague idea about what's happening unless it was mentioned to you beforehand that there is something fishy going on in the story.

I need to learn how to write about a subject like that in the grace and style Alfon rendered it in. *.*

Anyway, I saw Stacy yesterday in Trinoma. It wasn't planned...I was supposed to study in Philcoa but the UPCAT traffic was bad so I went straight to the quickest mall I could get to. It just so happened that Stacy was consulting with a professor there, and so for a brief few hours, we were in the presence of each other (most of the time she was in the other table talking with her professor). The only time we were really able to chat was when we moved from Starbucks, where I was originally studying, to The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, the place Stacy was having her consultation. I missed her. TuT Maybe over the sem break we can go to Trinoma again, this time for fun, and with Gen.

I got a sprain recently. The type my orgmates said would last two weeks the moment they laid eyes on the swelling. It's the rainy season together with the addiction to tennis that orchestrated my injury. And it's the addiction alone that lead to its surrender. It didn't even last a week (well, it hasn't really been a week since the sprain), and I wanted to play so bad that the sprain just retreated. Mwahahaha. It still stings sometimes but at least I can run now. Running after the ball is such a pleasure~ Hehehe..

The rain has been a tennis player's strongest adversary these past days. It's the only thing that has kept me from playing, acads excluded (the sprain didn't do the job). Bad time to get hooked. Tsktsk.

Anyway. The mother again ~~tearing me away from~~ asking to use the laptop..I'll have to once again cut my entry short.

Ehehe. August is hopefully a better month for couples who have survived July.

hello? anybody there? echo! XD

2007-07-20T08:31:00.000+08:00

Wheee~ exam days are closing in. @_@

I'm back in the blogging circuit, at least for this very moment. :D And it's not the only circuit I'm part of these days. I'm also part of the men's circuit in Tennis UP's Ladder Matches. I was disappointed that they separated the women's tour from the men's tour and so I asked to be included in the men's tour and no one minded. :) I feel like I will improve faster if I keep challenging the men in the org. Sila naman yung magagaling eh. :D

*sigh*

Vincent Kartheiser's new series Mad Men has started airing in the US. Don't know much about it, but I do know that his character is a bad guy. Hehehe. Interesting!!

Grrr...my mom's leaving with the laptop. Update nalang later. ^_^

Quick Post

2007-07-06T02:08:00.000+08:00

It's two in the morning. and I'm not sure why I'm blogging and not sleeping. I just finished a paper for my creative writing class and that's why I'm not in bed at this time night.

My Moto is happily up and running. Hopefully no more trouble from it. My laptop is not as happy, and it is as dead as it used to be the last time I blogged. Grrr.

I lost my 2 Gig USB. *lots and lots of tears* So many files were in there. So many memories, so many things I made that I'm gonna hafta re-do. Grrr. I hope I find it.

I also lost my globe sim card, but I found it in one of my envelopes. ^__^ Hehe..I hope I find my USB in one of my pockets one day. Please!!

There you go. Just a short techie update from me. Not very helpful if you, my reader, want an insight into my life, but that's the best my exhausted brain can do for now. School is in full swing but I'm not, so there's an incongruence there that causes some trouble for me at the moment. Got to straighten that out first before I get back to my leisurely habits (and org dutes >_<).

And last but not the least, I have a new favorite tennis player: Marion Bartoli. Honestly, I haven't seen her play (haha) but she's double fisted both sides and she's beaten Jelena Jankovic, which is quite an upset. XD And since I'm double fisted both sides, she's my new idol! *yey*

There you have it folks. I'm afraid I'd have to abruptly say goodbye. Goodnight.

Techie luck

2007-06-22T22:33:00.000+08:00

Seems like any techie luck I have left in me just ran out. First it's my beautiful and beloved V3x, and now it's my invaluable laptop. Grrr. Not like I have a personal computer to use when my laptop is busted (strangely in the same way that my cellphone is busted -- it won't turn on). Hay. And not like I have important documents I'd need like the Tennis UP recruitment poster that is due on Monday and the macroeconomic data I researched for my father over the summer. Grrar.

(thank goodness for my mother's laptop for making this post possible!)

SHIT talaga!! Where am I going to get the money to get those fixed?? I'm gonna be so bankrupt! *cries*

Grr.

As for my first weeks of school. One word: readings. READINGS!! Six words: must read must read must read. And finally, three words: I'm not reading!

So far, my favorite subject this semester is..dumdadum..well, if I really had to force an answer on myself, it would probably be Sir Padi's Economics of Money and Banking for the reason that the professor doesn't bore me and the book has a cute way of explaining things.

My math subjects sadly don't fit such characteristics. My one class, The Theory of Numbers, had two classes. Was supposed to prerog for the one with the better (way better!) prof. But because it was restricted for Math majors only and math majors are not required to take it, it had too few students and was dissolved. Grrr. So I got into the one with the, er..more junior prof who doesn't even know what he'll be discussing in the succeeding parts of the syllabus because he hasn't "read the notes yet". Math majors from the dissolved class were even discouraged to take it kasi daw "wala silang matututunan". KUMUSTA NAMAN YUN?? Kasi it's for Educ majors, basically. >_< style="font-style: italic;">(At least mas maraming natututunan).

Creative writing class is pretty all right. The prof though reminds me of Aj Vizmamos of CE. Not at all a bad thing, it's just the thought that AJ is my prof. Hehehe. :)

Dear God, please bless my cellphone and laptop with your healing powers. Thank you!

Goodnight world~

Last Day

2007-06-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

Today....Is the last day of my summer. But tomorrow is not my first day of class, at least not under my standards. There is still something lacking, and it will never be a complete school day without it. T_T But it is still miles away. Grrr...

Today...Is also the last day that I will be hanging out in the courts for more than half the day. I had a blast with my racket. Some old acquaintances turned new sort-of-friends. Decided on my favorite senior (Sempai Mark-san!! :D) and was bagel-ed. (Love is a bagel in Tennis...Love=ZERO) *tears* Love hurts...

Today...I missed and missed and felt miserable (but all of it was reflected only in my kindred-spirited restlessness in the courts and my need for a patch of flesh to make-kurot). And was described as "Awwww...Sweet!" by the one who knew why.

Today...Is the day I officially greet my ka-trio a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY on my blog. Trust that I did not miss greeting the birthday girl on her actual birthday. (Singit...Ate Lav! Belated Happy Birthday din!! ^__^)

Tomorrow...Is the last day to prerog for that gawd-danged Philippine Institutions class. Grrr. I am
DESPERATE!!!!!

Tomorrow...Is two more days before Thursday. And Thursday completes my summer.

Tomorrow...I will begin to miss my kaladkarin friends and our exploits all over the city and beyond. Our long stretches of palo-sessions and our French Open viewing "parties" at my Sempai Mark-san's house. I will remember with fondness the Tennis Player from Hell Kuya Ryan, Sir Adj's belly-aching accents, Kuya Bubuyog Arbel and his hirits. I will stop being sentimental now. My point is just that I had a great summer with them. Tennis UP is <3

Tomorrow...It's back to the real world outside of the Tennis courts. :( Back to lectures and papers and exams and readings and books and late night Mcdo study sessions and and and...a little bit of Tennis. :D I'll always try to squeeze it in. My beau did encourage me to have some exercise once in a while. ;) Good for the braincells to be exposed sometimes to endorphin.

This was one of my best summers. Who'd have thought? I am ashen gray in color, as my mother puts it, but it's a small price to pay for lots and lots of fun. XD

KADA, we should celebrate Gen's and Tracy's birthdays sometime. Dinner out would be my suggestion. :) I miss you guys!

The Memories

2007-06-05T09:22:00.000+08:00

I love these guys. TuT

Rekindle your love for the Phoenix. <3

Let's continue it! C'mon! C'mon!! XD

TuT

CeleGreat!

2007-05-31T02:12:00.001+08:00

Imma getting paid! Woohoo!! Chilli's ulit? XD

Oh yeah.

And before I go:

Get Your Sexy Name

I like the monster name better.

An all right schedule for me

2007-05-29T11:39:00.000+08:00

Twenty-one units this semester. I'll be adding two more classes after Econ 121. When I get them, I'll be getting off at 7PM on Tuesdays and Fridays. >_< Oh well! That's the schedule I want, actually. ^^

I'll be happy when I'm done with it. For now, SUGOD PARA MAKAKUHA NG PI!! (>'-')> Grrrr~

I come from the Isolated Legendary Earth! XD

2007-05-25T06:19:00.000+08:00

Get Your Monster Name

sleepless undesired

2007-05-23T01:21:00.000+08:00

i want to sleep but my body doesn't let me
i want to temporarily cloud my thoughts with dreams of being toothless.
but i don't want to feel toothless.

of all the places to be bangag, my blog is the last place i write. ohohoho. sure. as if i have so many things to say to myself that i haven't already said...not here of course. in front of the mirror maybe, or in bed. while i'm in bed with myself. sleeping with myself. dreaming of things that don't remind me of what i don't want to remember. i want to be sure but will i ever be? of course not, the only way you're sure in life is if you're about to die. i'm not the type.

i have to sleep i have a 9 am appointment. demmet i want to hear it but you're not telling me. 9 am appointment.

~~to my readers.~~ skip this entry its completely pointless. just like the restaurants i've bookmarked in my head. the plans i've blueprinted in my journal. well not really completely pointless until i'm sure wahahaha. hopefully i'll never be sure. i thought i wanted to be sure? yeah, sure of this one thing but on the other hand i really don't want to be sure of the other side of it because it would mean i'm not sure if it at all.

why can't i be as happy as janssen's cee? haha. maybe someday, maybe with someone else. or maybe with the same person, maybe just in another life. or maybe in the near, distant future if it somehow finds that it can balance itself long enough to keep the knot in tact. sabi ni tita angie mag hintay daw ako ng mas maputi. sabi ni kate mag ingat ako. sabi ko naman...marami. bat ko pa iisaisahin dito?

dear booj. all i need from you is a knock on the head. tell me i'm wrong. i'm making this up. i need you. to tell me.

what happens twice will happen a third time. i'm on a bomb waiting to explode.

tell me.

2007-05-22T22:51:00.000+08:00

an you name 13 of ur classmates in ELEMENTARY that u can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you've written the names of all 13 people.

This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first. No Cheating!

1. Manel
2. Chubby
3. Kai
4. Virginia
5. Stacy
6. Criselda
7. Sig
8. Kimmy
9. Tracy
10. Sam Lucas
11. Tanya
12. Serena
13. Gemma

How did you meet 10?
- she was my classmate in grade six

What would you do/what would happen if you had never met 1?
- Grade school life would have been soo much less interesting.

What would you do if 6 and 2 date?
- Umm..Well, it would be really weird, but I'd leave them alone. If ever, 2 would be lucky to have 6.

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
- Nope

Do you think 10 is cute?
- Er..She used to smile a lot. But I don't think she's cute, because she was always taller than me.

did you get to know 3?
- Grade school bestfriend.

What's 7's Favorite color?
- Blue

What would you do if 5 confessed he/she loved you?
- Hahahaha! I'd say, "I knew it! You've always loved me! XD"

Fact about 9:
- That she has an anime.

Who is 4 going out with?
- If I knew I probably wouldn't have remembered.

What is number 5 to you?
- Ka-trio

Would you ever live with 13?
- We used to live hear each other, but I guess if some twist of fate made us roomies, I'd be fine with it, unless she turned out to be a real bitch (which she wasn't in grade school)

Is 2 single?
- Sa pagkaka-alam ko~

Where does 7 live?
- Near the highway. Hehehe~

What do you think about 12?
- She's really smart. ^_^

What's the best thing about 8?
- Sobrang understanding. ^___^

Who is 11 to you?
- She used to be my idol~

Favorite Memory with 1?
- She'd make me type out and give her love letters to Diwa.

Toothless

2007-05-22T21:53:00.001+08:00

They say that when you dream of your teeth falling off it means someone in your family is going to die. People tell me that whenever I get such dreams, I should, the moment I wake up, bite anything wooden before talking to anyone.

See, I've been having dreams like that quite often recently and it's freaking me out. I think a month ago I had that dream, and then around two weeks ago, and then this morning...Twice. >_< That's the weird part, I woke up this morning to a very nice overcast day and I didn't feel any bit pleasant. At first I couldn't remember the toothless part of my dream and was wondering why I felt uneasy. But I remembered eventually. Freaky.

Now, I didn't get up because I'm lethargic in the morning and I fell back to sleep and dreamt of losing my teeth again. But it was worse this time, because my teeth just kept falling out one by one. And you know how it is in dreams, the way you really feel it. I've had to lose milk teeth in the past so I know how it feels to have loose teeth that can be really annoying when it swings in place, to the point that you even play with it using your tongue until it just falls out, with its roots and all. >_< And the feeling of having empty spaces in your mouth where they used to be.

During my second toothy dream this morning, I was freaking out to my Mom because she didn't seem to care that I had lost five permanent teeth already, but she did take me to the dentist after quite some nagging. And the dentist had to inject some medicinal solution into my gums to make them stronger so that no other teeth fall off. >_<

Gawd! I do hope superstitions remain superstitions.

Booo

2007-05-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

I,

Miss
I-miss-you,
miss you.

I, Ms. I-miss-you, miss you.

Boo.

Miss I-miss-you misses you, boo.

Come back to me you.

Gentleman vs. Chauvinist Pig

2007-05-18T01:14:00.000+08:00

a Gentleman or a Chauvinist Pig: Which one are you?
May 17, '07 8:14 AM
Posted by Dani on his multiply blog.

Gentleman - A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior.

It is always nice to hear such a nice word as a compliment, especially when its comes from a lady. A man is sure to be called a gentleman when he gives way for a girl to have a seat in a bus, or when he assists a lady with her luggage, situations like that. Situations where he's being considerate of other people's limited capabilities.

Chauvinism - activity indicative of belief in the superiority of men over women.

On the other hand, it is always not-so-nice to hear comments like you're being a "chauvinist pig" especially when it comes from a lady. A man is sure to be called a chauvinist pig when he gives way for a girl in a queue, or when he assists a lady with her luggage, situations like that. Situations where he's being considerate of other poeple's limited capabilities.

Same situation, different results. (Okay ladies, it always depends on the man's approach.)

Personally though, i think women are making such a big fuss over male domination in this country, while requiring it in many ways at the same time.

For example, women always demands to be treated equally as men, but when you reason out to them the same way they do, they'd call you "pumapatol sa babae."

In the MRT, they are given 1/3 of the cars exclusively for themselves and a few differently-abled people, but they still ride the other cars, which is just fine. But in the other cars, they'd still demand to have the seats and let the men stand.

In reality, women expect men to behave a certain way, the 'gentleman's way.' If one behaves differently, he'd be labeled many names. If a man treats women special, assisting them in every way possible, he'd still be labeled many names.

How should you treat women? Supposedly, the same way you treat men, because men and women have equal rights, or, do they have separate rights? In our case they do.

Hey man, which one are you? Either way, you should behave the other way.

Nothing personal Dani, I would just like to react to this.

Me thinks....

Gentleman: when he gives way for a girl to have a seat in a bus, or when he assists a lady with her luggage, situations like that out of the goodness of his heart.

Chauvinist: when he assists a lady with her luggage because he thinks women are too weak to do such a thing on their own.

There is a difference.

To further elaborate and present a more stark contrast, a chauvinist might keep a woman (maybe his wife) from getting a job because he thinks that women cannot handle heavy workload, etc. Certainly no gentleman would do that.

Of course, women don't always know what men think, or why men act so considerate of other people's limited capabilities, so it IS rather judgmental of us to automatically assume that they help us with our luggage because we're too weak, and thus, think them a chauvinist. And really, we shouldn't, unless he explicitly displays his chauvinist characteristic (i.e., saying "dapat lang ibigay ko 'tong seat na toh kasi mas malakas naman ako kesa sa babae.")

By the way: using the term "limited capabilities" can make a man a chauvinist for its political correctness. Careful.

In other news: May 18 na~ (='.'=)~<3

Twinkle twinkle

2007-05-17T01:45:00.000+08:00

LOVE
is like a star,
content with staying
with her moon
even when she knows
she's not the only one.

LOVE
is like the moon,
patiently following
his sun.

LOVE
is like the sun,
shining her light
on the planet
that is out of her reach.

LOVE
is like the planet,
happy with viewing
his star
from afar.

An SMS I received.
Edited a little. :)

But it's okay because this made me feel so much better.

Those nights when you
can't sleep, it might be
because you're awake in
someone else's
dreams...ü

Gud evening! ü
From: T Jojo
11:02pm 5/6/07

*points to the time*

Big mmmwuggles to Jojo for that~

Videoke Blues

2007-05-16T09:27:00.000+08:00

Last Monday, at Kuya Ryan's request, Tennis UP went videoke-ing. :D He just finished with his comps the week before and probably wanted something to relieve himself of the memory. Lol. We went to this really nice place in Tomas Morato, Music Match, and had an great time! XD We were there for three hours, left at around midnight and paid only P125 each! ^__^ Not so bad, eh?

I was thinking I should list down the videoke-worthy songs so that the next time we go singing (maybe I'll bring the Kada there kasi super sulit), I'd know what songs to look for. Then again, I sort of forgot the nice songs na. T_T Except Welcome to the Black Parade because that was a really memorable sing for me. I felt rejuvenated after screaming "We'll carry on!" so many times. LOL. I remember we also sang Hands to Heaven because it took us a while to remembering the title and then look for it on the list.

*Sigh* When I go singing again, I'll make sure to list down the nice singsongs. XD I'm pretty sure I'll be doing that again, because it was fun. Whee~

(Sorry for the wrong grammar, I'm listening to Grace Kelly by Mika at the moment and I can't seem to concentrate with that song. O.o

eighteen eighteen eighteen eighteen

2007-05-15T12:01:00.000+08:00

Wag mo na sana ako pahirapan pa, kung ayaw mo sakin ay sabihin mo na~

Every time I hear that song I just feel like singing it. I think even the melody reeks with its emotion. O_o Ay ewan.

Tulad ng mundong hindi tumitigil sa pag-ikot, tulad ng ilog na hindi tumitigil sa pag-agos..

This song naman...Grawr.

At sandali lang, wag ka muna magsalita. Di ko hahayaang pati ikaw ay mawala...

Tell me that! Tell me that!

~~Aabot pa ba sa ika labing-walo?~~

This is me.

2007-05-10T11:55:00.001+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Cutesy Post

2007-05-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

Haroharo~ Haroharo~ I'm back with a new post!! XD I bet you can guess what this entry was inspired by. This adorable little snowball looking creature is just the cutest. (Btw, if any one knows what creature it is exactly, go on ahead and comment. I wanna know too. ^__^) It vaguely reminds me of Kuya Mikkie's blog icons~ [I just checked, and it's exactly the same creature!] Anyway, I've been playing KAT-TUN's You vid about 80% of the time my computer is on. I simply cannot get over Jin. Plus, Gen showed me this very touching fanvid that said that Junno loves video games and Maru is probably the person who loves the members of KAT-TUN the most. That's my boy. XD

*Sigh* If there's one thing that I will remember this summer for, I suspect it will be for the fact that every fangirl phase of my life swept through me in a matter of a month. There's Vincent Kartheiser, then KAT-TUN...Kulang nalang yung F4. Ehehehe...>_> But really, I doubt I'll come falling back into F4 fangirl-ness. That was waaay too short a phase in my life.

Let me seeeee, three, five, nine and twenty-two more days to go before the Sig-Dwellie second birthday, the elections, the eighteenth of May and the end of the month respectively! Not that I'm taking any active part in the first two, but at least the last two will hopefully be memorable and are much anticipated by myself. Hmm..I seemed to have sounded too civil when I said that. WHEN WILL THIS MONTH END??? Here I go whining about something that'll come...Eventually~ Grrr...

Which reminds me (for no logical reason) that I lost my glasses. I somehow found a way to misplace it, again...And I think this time, it's for good. >_< Maaan. I loved that pair. I looked pretty on them. The pics that I had with those glasses were pretty pics of me, in general, I think. T_T Hay...Babaeng burara talaga. Tsk.

Anyway, my father is nagging me to get some sleep. Nightnight world...Buhbye~ I hope you enjoyed this entry...

You [KAT-TUN]

2007-05-08T04:04:00.000+08:00

Damn. Jin is such an eye candy. The whole coin tossing bit is the best part of the video. He's so adorable with the eye rolling. Damn.

Nosebleed.

Where indifference begins

2007-05-08T02:40:00.000+08:00

It's sad when a friend tears away.

It's sadder at the thought of the reasons why.

It's saddest when you realize it doesn't matter

to you

anymore.

More Dollies. XD

2007-05-06T03:17:00.000+08:00

Making the Vigile doll only made me realize how unfabulous my fashion sense is. @_@ Just look at that, so unflattering. *sigh* But anyway, I tried to be as loyal to my wardrobe as possible (with the pants and the top, strictly speaking, of course, because I do not have a pair of cute little wings on my closet, much as I want to).

I do have that kind of blouse, somewhere...I know I used it during our fourth-year high school academic research paper debate when all three of us (Vigile, Stacy and Gen) were wearing something black-and-white striped out of coincidence. ^_^ And I also do have that kind of pair of pants. Those who know me well and long enough know that I've owned a certain pair of elephant pants that I really really loved even after getting narrowed by my grandmother. (Elephant pants are naturally very wide, and my grandmother found one day that this was odd, decided that it was too wide for comfort and narrowed it without my knowledge. T_T). The bag, though, I'm not so sure. @_@' Although I think I remember Sig having one. Lol.

Anyway, for the facial expression, I tried the best I could to imitate the expression I had in this photo. It's not the best replica, but I think I did a fairly accurate job, hehehe. Kasi naman, this expression, the look away look, had become a sort of signature expression of mine in photos at some point in my life. Except, I think the look away look had this pouty thing going on, which I didn't use na for the dollie. ^__^ Masyado na atang pacute yun.(~~Oo na, pacute na ako masyado..~~ X_x Sheeeesh...Those were the days...)

And finally, for the hair, that was the closest I found to the hairstyle I currently have, one that seems to be thinning out as you go down. Lol. Mine is longer than the doll's though, but it more or less looked like that when I first got it cut. ^__^ The butterfly clips, though, came with the hair. I don't do butterfly clips, I'm sure many of you know that. XD

Hehehe..this is so fun! XD Making dollies is such an interesting way to kill time. As I was looking for the right pair of pants for my doll, I saw a couple of pairs that reminded me of Sig's really neat zippery pants that came from the US. XD Hehehe..Whee~

One of these days, I'll dress up the way my cute Vigile doll was dressed up and get a picture of myself. XD Whee..It's like cosplay, except that I'm playing myself. O.o

Dollies

2007-05-06T00:17:00.000+08:00

This is my little leaf fairy. XD Whee~ I started out hoping I could make a Vigile eLouai doll, but then I saw the wings and started making it look fairy-ish..And in the end it didn't turn out to be me at all. Lol. Although, I would like to someday try that hairstyle, and I do have a skirt that kinda resembles that one, and I did try to make the eyes and nose and lips look like me (of course, if it does look like me at all, it looks like a very very pretty version of me ^_^). XD But still, i think the wings are cute. TuT

Gosh, I really wanted to post the animated version of this doll here in my blog but it doesn't seem to be working. >_<

So anyway, while I was looking for a pair of eyes for this doll, I saw one that I thought would fit perfectly on a Gen face. XD And it occurred to me how it isn't that hard to make a Gen face. ^__^ (I think even in the Sims 2 -- when Tracy was consulting with me -- the Gen sim didn't take too long.) Hehehe..

Anyway, I want to make a Vigile doll. Maybe I'll do it right now. XD Go Vig!

(Thanks Kuya Siopao for giving me the doll making link. xD)

T(w)oday's Achievements

2007-05-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

I was hyped up today. XD I was able to conquer two peaks I didn't think I could conquer. Ohohoho~

I walked to school
Yes, I walked. ^___^v This was one of the things on my "must do this summer" list. I passed six footbridges, a number of roadside construction sites, three schools, (I didn't count the gasoline stations though..). Unfortunately, I didn't think of taking pictures. It would've been memorable to have had a picture on the Partidong Manggagawa footbridge. XD

It was a specially cloudy day today, so it wasn't as hot as the past week, and it just so happened that I wasn't bringing any bag because I left my bag in Stephen's car. So the circumstances were perfect for the home-to-school walk. XD I made no stopovers except at Sig's San Mig Food Store to buy water. ^__^ I was contemplating whether to but buko juice from the street vendors around or to buy water from Sig's store, and in the end I decided to give a wee bit of support to the store. Minsan ko nalang din matangkilik ang tindahan nila Sig eh.

Ironic, but when I reached school, I was so proud of myself that I went straight to playing tennis. XD That's what they'd call endorphins (sp?). Walang pagod hahaha.

I beat Kuya Mark on a race to six doubles match. XD
Wheee~ It doesn't matter that it was doubles, I still beat Kuya Mark!!! TuT *tears of joy* I only ever get at most two games when I play against him (doubles or singles), so I was so proud of myself and my partner Sir Haris. (First time he beat Mark as well). You know, the loss could've been due to his partner, Dim, but I'm sure Kuya Mark could've played well and won for them both. It was the break on his serve that did the trick. XD

din

Two peaks conquered in one day. XD

So anyway, this evening we had dinner at this place called the Arcade, near the UP Chapel. It specialized in Persian dishes and is, I learned, a really good eat-out place. To-crave-for food at an affordable price. All the dishes everyone ordered were good (I took a bite off of everything that was ordered...kapal muks) but I think the best was their iced tea. Maybe Gen and I or the trio can eat there sometime. It's really worth it!! :D

Oh My God. Do I Have Any Intention of Sleeping??

2007-05-04T04:55:00.000+08:00

Uh...No. Not really. I don't think so. >__>

I blog-hopped. Friendstered. Multiplied. Customized my multiply. Made some pubmats. Blog-hopped again. Multiply hopped. Wrote on guestbooks. Edited my blog template. Fixed the editions. Yada yada yada. 5:00 AM and I'm still on the May 3 mode. Why am I so averse to sleeping. No. Not that I'm averse to sleeping, I just [for some bizarre reason] find that doing senseless things on the internet is a better way of passing time than sleep.

At least my blog has a links and archives section now. *nods with pride* Plus, my multiply account has a cute photo thing going on on the front page to keep visitors from closing the window within a minute of opening my site. *yey*

And I was planning on going to school earlier than usual ~~tomorrow~~ later. As if that'll ever happen at this rate. Maybe if I go take a bath right now, but I'm not taking a bath without even the slightest bit of beauty sleep. Haha.

Re-reading this post, I realize that my blog entries are even more meaningless than Gen ever claims hers to be. Ohohoho. ^_^

Allow me an attempt to dignify this post with some sense. I saw Spidey 3 ~~this evening~~ last night. Sorry to burst your bubble guys but it sucked. On a scale of one to ten, I'd rate it nine point five, one being the highest. The effects were good during the action scenes, and that's where I got the point-five. And the whole time I was waiting for Mary Jane to die. @_@ At some point, it became a tag team, and somewhere along the way I was beginning to doubt if Spider Man was really the hero in the story ('cause it seemed like someone else had to save him). Oh well. They say the second was better than the third. I didn't see the second, but I still didn't like the third. The effects were cool though. If you're a sucker for that, go ahead and watch it. ^_^

Wow. I can see the horizon turning orange outside my window. I really should hit the sack. Tsk.

The longest two months

2007-05-03T15:05:00.000+08:00

Vigile Sim

2007-05-03T14:07:00.000+08:00

I personally think that the one thing Tracy pinned down in making my sim is the shape of the face. Hehehe. Talagang oblong. ^_^ The hair actually reminds me more of Stacy. Hmmm..But it's cute and I guess if I kept my hair long enough I'd be able to do that. :D

Anyway, I have a new roomie. XD There's this baby lizard that I've encountered at least twice in my toilet and at least once in my room. To the extent that I've realize it's not going anywhere, I've named it Nut. So now, I have a Nutty roommate. Lol. It's less disgusting when I think about it that way. *Sigh* I must be going insane.

Swoon-Worthy

2007-05-01T10:22:00.000+08:00

Amagad. *nosebleed* I like the eyes.

Back in the day, I used to have a complete collection of this guy's photos and videos. (Of course, I had to, I owned a fansite. >_>) But oh boy, was I a fangirl. XD I'd spend hours just making thumbnails for the gallery (because back then, there weren't such things as program-powered photo galleries. O_o Or maybe I just wasn't aware of them.) And another few hours uploading all the thumbs and images using our dial-up connection.

Obsessed much? Lol.

Come on. It's not that difficult to understand my sentiments back then, is it? Considering those eyes *points to the photo in a hypnotic kind of way* Haha. XD *wobbles like jello at the sight*

Lookie lookie~

2007-04-30T23:43:00.000+08:00

Whee~ My old flame is turning into an absolute daredevil, shaving his hair and all. Not scared of a challenge are ya Vincent? Love it! :D

Vincent Kartheiser is, as it turns out, still in the industry. XD Still doing indie, and a little bit of TV. :D The first photo is from one of his more recent independent films, Barstool Words. Looks pretty interesting if you ask me, although he does something quite too psychotic for comfort. The second photo comes from an upcoming TV Series, Mad Men. I'm digging that too, for the fact that it's set in (let me take a wild guess) the 60's. He looks like such a geek. Lol. And he's filled out a bit. *glomps* This look, I'm afraid, still has to grow on me. But he's nailed the nasty journalist look in that photo, and I have a good feeling he'll pull it off.

I hope I find a copy of the series somewhere.
And the movie too, of course. I think it's out on DVD.
These days, it's not that difficult to find such things.

~~Thank you piracy!~~

But wait...There's more!
He actually plays a very gay English major in this short film by Samuel Park, Shakespeare's Sonnet. Haha. At first it was...Creepy. But, well, he played it well, which is awesome. Because diverse roles are what I look for in good actors..(And is the reason I adore Johnny Depp and have no respect for Tom Cruise).

Anyway, credits for all this rekindled fascination go to Krisalis and the great thing she's done to the fansite I used to own. XD Also to that humble e-mail that reminded me that the fansite was still up and running.

Whee~ Go Vincent.

Last na: Not-so-shameless (?) Plug: Genina's Blog is absolutely crazy~
(that's a good thing, btw.)

That other one was beginning to nauseate me

2007-04-27T03:22:00.000+08:00

New layout. Again. Hopefully this will be more, well...Pleasing. O_o No more extremely odd color combinations and creepy guest appearances. Phew. And a little more summer-y, thanks to the nice little flower up there. *points*

Everyone in the kada (more or less), except me (and Stacy, I think), has had their hair cut short. Whee~ It's the perfect time for a studio pic! Lol...I'm so high school. Hindi na kasi uso ang studio pics ngayon eh. >__> Lahat na kasi ng tao may mobile camera. Anyway.

Watched episode 13-18 of Deathnote this morning. *tears of joy* I think the 18th episode, though, went a little off track. It seemed almost like *gasps* a filler episode? It seemed to focus more on that one member of the squad who has a family and was forced to quit because he could not afford being unemployed. Too little of L or Light in that episode for comfort. Tsktsktsk.

I hafta meet Er tomorrow..or rather, later to run some financial errands for Tennis UP. I'll have to wake up at around 9? But really, at this rate, I'll be waking up noontime. XD *which means off to hit the sack for me*

Goodnight world~

Around Luzon in Two Weeks and other things

2007-04-25T10:27:00.000+08:00

Yuh.

Laguna for four days. Bulacan two days, Batangas another two days. XD Lol.

No pics though. Unfortunately, or...fortunately?

We'll see what other places will I find myself in before the end of the summer.

End of the summer. One more month.

Yer.

Gen, Sig and Tracy, feast your eyes: http://behindinfinity.deviantart.com/gallery/

Tomorrow I will get to watching the still untouched CDs Gen has burned for me. TuT

For some reason lack of academic pressure during summertime equates to the lack of drive to do anything I'd consider absolutely fun when I'm in school. O_o I will regret this when summer ends.

giftie~

2007-04-19T01:59:00.000+08:00

amagad, kakakilig!

2007-04-18T02:07:00.000+08:00

something something something suddenly [and finally] sunk into my amazingly thick and insensitive head. XD and a kiddie kid kid could've understood it given what was given. >__>

that took quite a while~

lol.

nonetheless, i'm so happy for my ex-co-AVP! *huggles*

tatlo!! TuT

2007-04-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

In my watch it is 12:04 AM (adjusted for advanced time preference differences)

Magpapaganda ako today. XD

Wheee~

* *
Today...Este, yesterday, was filled with walking. O__o And playing tennis. =P

I saw Bongerz today too. XD Was delighted. We hung out in the bran spankin' new Econ cafeteria and was very very pleased with the air conditioning. ^_______^ I swear, we can choke to death from the heat.

We basically talked about dieting and how much we're needing it, and how my dad's been forcing me to prematurely write our thesis...You know, the usual things. She was taking Panpil 17 and was dumped with a truckload of readings, while I was taking nothing, but was still dumped, or rather...burried alive, by a whole year of saved cellphone messages that I was (and still am) to transcribe to my journal. It's been on my to do list since eons ago, that is, when summer started. I've written out give or take one-fourth of it throughout today, of which around two-thirds were written while Bong was taking a shot at a few pages of Panpil.

Rachel's been utterly enthusiastic about a certain one-day swimming outing that she's been planning for us (the us not being so well-defined as of yet). And her up and up mood about it is certainly rubbing off on me. XD I'm pretty thrilled about it too now. Wehehe~ She's setting her sights at La Mesa Eco Park, which I've been to once and had a fantastic time in. XD We can even go bring some food and have a pickedy picnic. It's a lovely place with lots and lots of trees and it is a place you'd love walking around in, although on first impression, you'd think it's bigger than it actually is. That's how it projects itself to its visitors...Big. Anyway, digress why don't I? Lol. Rachel was thinking maybe on Monday afternoon? Which is perfectly fine by me, although I'm not quite sure how Gil will find a way around his internship. And it's his first day, at that. Hopefully though it'll push through. It's the first unofficial but full-fledged CE outing I'll be taking part in since I became part of CE. ^__^ And I'm pretty sure it'll be loads of funn. (Btw, Gen and Bong, you guys are certainly invited -- incase Boss Rach hasn't texted you yet. ^^)

I've been having conversion issues with my mother's Nokia 6260. I don't remember if I've mentioned it, but she gave me that in exchange for the use of the Moto V3x that used to be in my possession (can't really say it was mine because rights of ownership have been blurred by the arrangement). Not so bad, the 6260, it has its own camera...But since this afternoon, the pesky blinking message signal has been blinking its way into my nerves. I've deleted more than half the photos I've taken and all the messages in my inbox and still it wont stop blinking! Grrrraawwwrrr. (f=>_<)f It gets my right eye twitching whenever I flip that cellphone open.

Hay..Anyway. I've started complaining. O.o

At the courts this afternoon, we've invented some new ways of killing time while waiting for a free court. XD We call them, the Matrix.

the Matrix spearheaded by Tim

the Matrix, Jojo style~

of course, I just had to try it myself

and finally, other [inferior] Matrix poses (thru night vision goggles lol)
The Buddha pose and the Nightcrawler pose

Forgive the quality, that's pretty much why I prefer the V3x over this cellphone.

There there. I better get to bed.
April 18 naaaaaaaa~ <3

Yebah~

2007-04-15T16:07:00.000+08:00

I spent my afternoon looking for a nice theme for my *cough* new, second-hand phone. It used to be my mother's, but she decided we should trade, so now she has the Moto and I have the Nokia. It's not so bad, it still has a camera, just not as pretty in its performance as the Moto. At least it does its job. And one consolation I always tell myself is that at least I can get cute themes on this phone. The Razr V3X was difficult to find themes for. ^_^

Wala lang..^_^

Sitting around, bumming..

2007-04-14T18:02:00.000+08:00

I am so bored.
I'm just at home...like a board! O__o
And it sucks that I can't afford...

Anything.

This is not even worth calling an attempt at bad poetry. LOL.
I wanna go out somewhere far away. XD Like the Hundred Islands or Puerto Galera or Palawan or Panglao or someplace fun like that.

Hay!

The week.

2007-04-13T10:10:00.000+08:00

Who'da thought going to San Pablo would take so long? O__o It took us two hours. Hehehe...And throughout the trip I was thinking how we as children used to love long field trip rides (the longer, the father away XD). I remember being disappointed whenever the ride would take less than an hour. But now, older and more impatient, long trips are nothing but an inconvenience. Nonetheless, we got there, and it was fun fun fun from there on out.. XD

The place was really nice. Although, not as nice as I'd have expected from the photos on the internet, it was much much better than many of the previous planning sem resorts we've been in. We had the huge Ilang-ilang session hall all to ourselves, and we mostly used only half of it, unless a game was in play (which reminds me to give due credit to Boss Riza who loves having and organizing games but hates playing them kasi daw lagi siyang natatalo at sinumang matalo ay maghuhugas ng pinggan..lol..)

The rooms were okay, it was all wooden and stuff from the outside, which looked absolutely pretty, specially with the capiz windows that were very neat and rather convenient for using as a door when the real door was stuck. ^__^ The key to our room (room 2) was particularly memorable because it was cylidrical instead of the usual flat, and it reminded us room twosters of a futuristic sci-fi movie. Hehehe. Too bad we didn't get a picture of it.

Inside the rooms, I took the top bed on the double deck and was having a difficult time going up and down the whole time. (No one else's fault but mine lol). Outside our rooms, we had our very own grass place (which for convenience sake I will call the yard). That was where we had our barbequed dinner during our first night, and the slogan session, and the Pepsi-7up and Monkey monkey and bubuka and bulaklak and pusoy-dos-with-shot session. That was also where we played a pretty neat prank on our beloved president. XD You should've seen his face! ^____________^

The food was fantastic! :D For the first time we had a planning sem with abundance of food (meaning catered lol). We could even take seconds! A privilege I never let pass. XD We even had merienda! :D Wheee~ This was all thanks to Dindi's Mark's family who made a lot of tummies happy. Mine was in bliss. *.*

I was even missing Genina when we had Cordon Bleu (wehehehe~) because we have a special memory together in relation to that dish. TuT I was almost hoping I could MMS a piece to her. ^____^

Lalala~

I'm not quite sure why I'm being very in-depth about this...

this is the only serious pic I am going to show you~

toh pa pala..XD

barbeque-ing for dinner

barbequed mallows. *yum yum*

sasara ang bulaklak, bubuka ang bulaklak, dadaan si riza, pakembot kembot pa!

mukha bang nagso-slogan session? UPCE We Define.

that's what they call "may spark!"

picture picture after ng slogan~

PUBorito!

Ops!

ech-ar..hoy pat!

little boys doin' the raindance. O__o

Matrix group 1 :p

ang mga boss. :D

Planning sem photo credits: Riza

Unfortunately, I had to leave a little earlier, the day of the calendaring session. :( That's because I had to go to Sta. Rosa to drop some stuff off and be home before my dad's birthday on the 12th. I had loads of fun already anyway, so it wasn't a waste at all.

My adventure to Sta. Rosa was, well, an adventure in the truest sense. Lol. I took three jeepneys from the resort, but the last one was the best. We were on the freeway when we got a flat tire. Whee~ O___o We were near the exit na naman eh, and I could see Enchanted Kingdom from where we pulled over. So I was thinking whether I should walk the rest of the way, kasi naman, only very few (chosen) people would have a walking-along-the-freeway-while-watching-the-ferris-wheel-go-round-and-round experience. But then..I didn't walk the rest of the way. I got there anyway, long story though. Some van picked us up and brought us there for an extra P10. (Short lang pala lol). At first I was hesitant to ride because it was a private vehicle and the word "hijack!" was floating around in my head, but I rode anyway because I'd be the only one left with mr. jeepney driver fixing the tire if I didn't.

As I said, I did get to my destination. :)

Finally met Toto Vanvan and Kuya Les. Hung out for a while. Played with the kulit bunch (no pics of them, unfortunately -- Little Athena was extremely sweet though TuT...and ticklish). Dropped the stuff off. Hugged and kissed and was off again. Which was funny because Kuya Les and Ate Michelle thought I was going to Mindoro with them for Baby Vanvan's birthday binyag. XD Kasi I had a big bag from the planning sem. Lol.

The trip home was the most tiring. From Sta. Rosa to Cubao it took us almost 3 hours due to bad expressway traffic. Then when I got to Ever, I didn't walk home as planned, because when I planned that I was thinking I'd be home a little earlier, which means a little brighter and less dangerous. O_o So yeah..I had to wait for my folks to fetch me. ^__^ But it was all right. Last stretch of the journey na naman yun eh. :D

the summer

2007-04-08T23:54:00.000+08:00

My summer

doesn't seem to be turning out

the way I'd thought it would.

I will not

lose

any of you.

bored and suddenly very unsatisfied..

2007-04-08T16:38:00.000+08:00

My layout is blah. :(

Imagine your dad telling you about love and relationships...

2007-04-06T20:49:00.000+08:00

...now imagine mine.

Hahaha...XD At first it was, well, odd. But with the help of two slices of watermelon that kept me from looking too attentive, I got by. ^__^

So, what were my father's relationship tips?

A relationship must be growth oriented. You must give each other enough space to grow and follow your goals. Once a relationship hinders growth, it is a relationship not worth taking.

When out on a date, the guy must pay for the expenses. At the worst, it has to be 50-50. If he can't afford anything fancy, dapat, magtiyaga ang girl, for as long as its something the guy can afford. Kasi daw, if the girl pays, either the guy will be insulted or he doesn't deserve to be her boyfriend at all.

Hatid sundo must be the guy's responsibility. If he's on a tight budget, tricycle. (Exag naman yun..) But he has to pay for it. (He even inserted an anecdote about him bringing mom to watch an orchestra riding a jeep -- but still, it's the orchestra!! T_T)
Sex (to him) is not a moral issue. At least not until there is a child. A child will make it very difficult of all parties to go for their goals. The worst (as in emphasized talaga ang WORST) decision for a couple, though, is to get married for that reason. It only compounds the difficulties. The decision to have sex, on the other hand, is completely and totally the couple's decision, for as long as they keep their goals and dreams in sight.

Respect is very important. You (let's just assume I -- or my dad -- is talking to a girl) must have enough respect for him to be able to introduce him to your friends, etc. (I got only a vague idea of how this works...the respect-introducing to friends thing, but that's how he said it..O_o)

Regarding being seloso/selosa: the reason why my father isn't (and I think it will be good to adapt this way of thinking--for those of us who are) is because for him, the value of his wife only increases if other men like her (or find her beautiful). That is, the more who like her, the more valuable she must be! XD Ang sabi nga niya, "kung ako lang ang may gusto sa asawa ko, I must be blind!" Hehehe..I dunno if that quote helps, but I was laughing for about a whole minute when he said that. lol...lalala~ XD

I wasn't very attentive, was I? =p

Anyway, yeah. ^__^v That was a really weird dinner table discussion we had tonight. Weird enough to merit a whole blog entry to itself.

Kung swertehin ka nga naman...

2007-04-05T01:26:00.000+08:00

I got into reading Mia and John's testi's. Wala lang~ They're overflowing with so much love for each other! XD Na para bang kung basahin mo ay magiging masaya ka nalang din about the world. Ang labo nga eh. O__o But I'll take this happy-about-the-world feeling as a chance to say I'm sooooo oober doober happy for them.

I'm sooo oober dooober happy for you Mia and John and Ally~ *huggles* I really really hope you stay happy like that for a long long time. And I hope that so many other people in the world become happy with each other like you are with each other.

Hehehe. And thank you for making me feel happy about the world tonight. ^____^v

New Layout

2007-04-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

Yay! :D

I was hoping to make it look and feel like a lively, bright, unbound summer layout. I do think it's lively and bright...Unbound, though, I can't be sure. :( I really hoped I could exclude the arrows from the whole design but it wouldn't look very nice on any resolution higher than 1024x768 otherwise. So it's a little bound. But only a little. (Still, it annoys me)

The Globe exam took far too long. Almost four hours, I think? But the interview was all right. It was in all a pretty good experience for me. I'm not really in the mood to narrate my day, but it is noteworthy to mention that Dindi and I went through the whole procedure together. It was extremely relieving to find someone I knew around there. And she and her father were really nice. (Thank you for the omelette~ I loved it!)

I can't be sure if I'll get the internship, though. I'd like to now. Hehehe. But I don't mind if I don't. It was never really on my summer agenda anyway (nothing was). And there are so many other things I can do over the break. Those so many other things though just don't have allowance. =P

The afternoon after my first (and hopefully not last) taste of the corporate life was extra delightful. <3 Kame and Jin are so cute!!

I think, though, that this will be the last happy-in-that-way day I will have for the summer. *sniff* People have left for the Holy Week. And tomorrow, more people will leave. Only, it's for longer.

But anyway. I'm excited about the planning sem. XD It's in Laguna! And I heard there's a hot spring? And our sessions will be held on a gazebo? It sounds different, this time: the planning sem. I hope it is. Actually, anything other than Casa Elum is different hehehe (no offense to past IC T_T). BUT! There is a special reason why I'm so happy that it's in Laguna. Hehehe. So that my chances of visiting this one person afterwards are a lot less slim. Ohohoho~

Hmmm. I just checked my grades on CRS. I wonder why the grade I got posted on one of my subjects is a notch lower that the grade I was given when my professor posted our overall performance. *iyak iyak* It throws my whole computation off balance. (Who'da thought I'd still be computing this late in my college life??) I don't think my creative writing classes furthered my writing abilities very much anyway. I think I was writing better blog entries when this blog first started. (High marginal productivity of things that are new...;D)

I should start reading again.

Lam mo ba, summer na. *tears of joy*

Anxious..

2007-04-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

This is me, care of my quasi little brother, Jaijai. <3
If you're wondering why I have two extra eyes, those are my glasses

I have an exam and a job interview for Globe tomorrow. I never really had anything productive (like classes or a job) planned for my summer, but when I received the invitation, I was like, what the heck.

My resume is mediocre because I only made it tonight (I'm printing it out right now) and I prepared not at all for tomorrow's exam. This is just a what the heck, no need to fuss about it.

But if I get the internship...

Cool.

Euphoria~

2007-04-02T03:30:00.000+08:00

I'm done with my stories!!! TuT And it is definitely good enough news to spare wee bit more of my supposed sleeping time to announce it to the world. XD

I'm a junior no more!!!!!!

Hay.

Now I better hit the sack. Proofread ko pa yung mga stories ko before printing tomorrow. TuT OMG I am so Happy.

Barado ang ilong, pero ilong lang. ^_^ laboh.

2007-03-31T16:03:00.000+08:00

Had a very very rough night last night. The day was basically a mess anyway, so it wasn't surprising. I'm just extremely thankful that I caught up with it before it completely fell off the cliff. And after everything, it ended nicely. (And I worked hard for that niceness, mind you). Hehehe~

I'm coming out with a new layout, finally. I get sicker and sicker of this one every time I view my blog. I swear! I'm gonna have something NOT blue, and NOT boxy and hopefully not as narrow.

It's not yet summer for me because I still have two papers due on Monday and I don't really have a clear idea on how to finish them. So I'm procrastinating; taking advantage of the pre-summer feeling before I get back to my last work for the semester. Besides, my nose is stuffed and my head hurts 'cause of all the sipon that I've been sniffin' and my cheeks hurt from the sleeping. I've been sneezing the whole day too. Who'da thought my immune system has grown so weak that I'd get a cold out of not changing clothes after a playing tennis. I always do that. I used to be bionic girl. Now I'm just a girl..I guess. :(

Oh well. For a consolation, I think I'm recovering faster than the usual. I feel so much better now that this morning. Thank you Carbosistein! Thank you Paracetamol! No thank you Sipon for insisting that you stay inside my nose!

We had a family lunch thing today that I was supposed to attend because my cousin just graduated. But then, well, this cold just wasn't up to it. So I stayed in bed while my parents were out there having a scrumptious lunch. Pffft. Sorry I ditched you Gen. :( But it was true. Sorry din Bianca.

Grabe. April one na bukas. I want to see Tracy again. Haven't seen her in a while. :(

I hate this cold.

I have to talk to someone.

My Eleventh Hour Week

2007-03-29T00:11:00.000+08:00

The academic Calvary:

EEE Exam
CW 140 Person Profile
CW 140 Feature Article
Econ 151 Finals
Film 12 Finals
CW 110 First Story final draft
CW 110 Second Story final draft

Despite all this, I am happy and contented and excited about summer. I have my summer day planned to the hour. Wehehehe~ :D :D

I'm starting to like Gen's photo blogs. ^__^ And you know what that means. XD

Sinong nagsabing nakalimutan ko? XD

2007-03-25T12:28:00.000+08:00

<3 you stacy~

Dear KADA...

2007-03-07T23:02:00.000+08:00

Lets go out for dinner! It's nearing Stacy's birthday and I'd like so much for us to be together again...

Including Kimmy and Tracy (who never ever EVER texts anymore) and Criselda. XD I want us all to be there. TuT Kung pwede nga si Rico din eh. :D He's like extended barkada naman diba. LOL

What say you?

Tralalele~

2007-03-01T20:45:00.000+08:00

No one reads our blogs cause mine is too boringly self-centered, Vigile's is not very understandable, and sig rarely posts entries
-Gen's blog, February 25, 2007 10:20 AM

Hey, I think I'm improving. XD Read my last three entries. They're understandable aren't they? Lalala~ Gen's improving too! :D

I don't really have anything in particular to write about for this entry though. I've been spending all of my study time reading my classmates' works, and none of my study time for my majors. Two economics classes shoved to the sideline for creative writing. yeah. And my other two classes, general education, are just there. Floating around in my form 5. :D

I learned two minutes ago that my paper for non-fiction is due in four days. That kind of freaked me out for about three seconds until i realized the one consolation: four days is more than half the week. Mention of the word week in my one consolation and I'm good to go again. Yipeee~ Kaya ko toh. Kayakanin.

A tennis varsity has been teasing me about my weight lately. It's either kain ka ng kain siguro noh? or pumayat ka ata ah, hinde, malabo lang mata ko. Hay. I dunno why I remembered that suddenly. Just a random thought. ~~siguro papansin lang yun.~~

Hahaha. Sure~

People I wished I were if I weren't me.

2007-02-25T21:21:00.000+08:00

Aka. My idols. :D They are not celebrities, they have had immediate contact with me, and they are great at certain things~

First, in a league all on his own:

my dad: as an academician and as a father. He'd know at least a little something about anything I ask him about, be it physics (those 2 guys who discovered background radiation--I don't even remember them anymore), math (the Shroeder-Bernstein Theorem--he's heard of it!), and especially History and Economics. He used to read to me before I go to bed and tried to find me a tutor (in vain) when he saw me crying over a math problem that aparently utilized shroeder-bernstein. He gets a blanket from the closet upstairs and covers me with it when he sees me curled up in bed a little cold and closes my windows in the middle of the night when a storm hits.

And the rest that are trailing behind him but remain on my list nonetheless.

Jojo Liao: as a tennis player. Until April he will be my Externals Sec. General but that's not why he's on this list. He has a deceivingly frail-looking bone structure but he can beat the best of them. At least in UP.
Junjie Guadayo: tennis player. While we're in the topic, here's another one. He's part of the UP Varsity and has an almost bottomless tank of stamina that'll last him until his muscles cramp out. Plus, he and his teammates teache the sport rather well too, from the improvement I've seen in the applicants. And he has a sense of humor. (Actually, a lot of the men's varsity do, naghahawaan siguro)
Lourdes Ann Marquez: as a writer. She's a classmate in one of my creative writing courses. The best classmate I have, based on my own judgement. She has this hold on the language that is extraordinary already relative to other students, but not just that, she can play with it well enough to suite whatever atmosphere she wishes her stories to be.
Paolo Soriano: as a writer. Again, a classmate, and again one of the best. (In my opinion follows second after Lourdes). But his is a different kind of style. More contemporary, I think. Still, he weaves his words artfully enough to make the reader feel the emotions in the trivial scenes that he chooses to portray.

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This list will be continued as I go along. XD

Current mood:	drained
Current music:	Come What May - Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor