I've been cheating on my blog entries lately. ^^ I do that in my journal too. I write quick lines that don't really have anything to do with what's happening in my life just so I can fulfill the one-entry-a-week requirement. (And even then I'm not very successful at it).

Anyway. Hopefully this entry will be more meaningful.

Last week I was studying with Tennis UP in McDo when it hit me (after it hit them)...The -ber months have arrived. So quickly too. It's hard to imagine that Christmas season is already in view. O__o It seems as though it was just a month or two ago when I was with Ate Lav in Bohol, taking pictures of myself beside the christmas tree. I can't believe it's been a year since that fateful vacation I always blamed for all the weight I gained (and failed to lose). And when I think about it, I don't feel like I've accomplished anything important. It's like things went by too quickly for me to have done anything of value. They say it's all in the little things. I don't know...I hope not. Because in such a case I'm afraid I might have failed...

Sometimes I think that I've segregated my life into compartments...Like in a pigeon hole where some compartments are packed with papers and events and activity, while others are collecting dust. I didn't want it to be like that, it just turned out that way out of circumstance. I could give a number of reason if I wanted to, most of them my own doing. Most of them springing from the fact that there were things I should've kept to myself even when I felt like I needed a shoulder to cry on. Now that it has turned out this way, whenever I feel so happy and complete, there are still some parts of me that remain empty.

Some people will probably read this and tell me, well, you can't have everything. I'm remembering a younger version of me saying there will always be a tradeoff. I have a creative writing classmate whose epiphany for her story is that people grow apart. But then I remember walking along the oval with Gen, and she was telling me how Bianca had said she envied us because we had high school friends that would last. I've told Jojo about this once. I don't remember if he'd said anything, but I do remember that talking about it to someone made the situation more palpable.

I bumped into Bernice the other day. And somewhere along our conversation she had mentioned in passing that many of them were anticipating a break up. Its funny how there are these things things you're aware of that only really sink in when other people justify them. I guess this is good old karma at work. I can only hope it ends with me.