You'd think after a new layout that I'd be more productive in my blogging. I thought the same. But then I realized that things in my life have turned un-bloggable (based on certain standards that others have set), against which no new layout can change.

Since two christmases ago, the topics in my blog have been reduced to nothing other than the things that I have eventually lost interest in. And it has become quite a strain being unable to talk about anything else...Other things that make me happy. I don't know. I should just be myself I guess. They can't love me any less.

My life is at least an eight-pointed star. At least eight for October. This month is my month. Throughout which I've spent time with almost every corner of my life, without my fully realizing it. All eight or more corners of it, I've spent time with this month. Even those I haven't seen in a while.

I am happy. Content. Just because I haven't been blogging, it doesn't mean nothing makes me happy enough to blog. There's a whiff of privacy in this happiness, even though sometimes it saddens me that I can't share it with people I hold with high regard.

It's not mutual anymore, me and those people. At least I feel it's not mutual. They don't hold me with as much respect as they used to. I guess it's my own fault. No. It can't all be my fault. I made decisions that attempted to tear down any walls that divide my spheres of experience into different parts. I was honest. I did not lie to them.

They have a right to their opinions. And it's not me they dislike. But in attacking my choices, part of my eight-pointed star, they're attacking me. And I'm beginning to feel what JE feels whenever he sees people laugh at me in some public place. I say, it's not you they're laughing at, it's me. He says, it doesn't matter, it still hurts.

But it doesn't make me any less happy. It just tugs at me once in a while, but I've learned to live with it.

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Oohh! I'm delighted! I still have a shot at my goal. <333

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I have eight more Timezone tickets to use up before the end of October. That's sixteen more free games.