Just when I thought it was beginning to come together, just when I had things planned out. When I thought things were starting to get better. You come and make me feel divided yet again. As though I was made up of irreconcilable pieces. You come and trace the crease left behind by the crack I'm trying to glue back together. You stir the spirit that was finally beginning to settle.

I wish that one day you will understand. That you will have confidence in my judgment. That you will in time accept the things I believe in and welcome the things I love. Or at least acknowledge it.

I feel betrayed when you deem void the things that bear weight in my life. You and them are not mutually exclusive. You and them cannot be mutually exclusive if you both have me. But your actions tear me apart. I will not last very long if I am broken.

Please hear me. I'm so sorry for not recognizing that all this you are doing because you are worried about me. I'm so sorry for having made choices that hurt you badly. But it seems your hurting has turned into anger. For reasons I myself have already forgiven. And your forceful segmentation of my life, this recurring pain that you cause me whenever you pretend he does not exist when he is right in front of you, and pretend to hear nothing when he speaks, and whenever you cannot even mention his name, it is worth it? Your making me choose to acknowledge at once only him or only you, but not both; your making me keep him from you, not a mention in my stories, in my words, in what I do, even if it makes me happy, so as not to offend you; your forcing me to compartmentalize my life by choosing only you or only him when I want to be with you both. The pain that I feel from all this, every single time...Is it worth it?

Tell me. Because if it is, then I will go ahead and take it without anymore complaints.